Word of the Year ~ Mindfulness

In choosing my word for the year, I went back and forth a bit between the words love and mindfulness. For a few months, it was looking like the word love was going to be the word, because it is definitely something which I wish to foster more over the next 12 months. Last year could have easily been summed up into one word, and that word would have been – harsh.

2018 was filled with harsh lessons, health issues, and a good bit of general lack of direction for good measure. For the latter half of the year, I had found myself feeling quite lost. There were parts of myself which seemed to have all but disappeared, and I was on a mission to not only regain them, but to expand and improve them. So, when the time of year came to start choosing a word for this year I asked myself what word would encompass what I would need to foster the work that I was doing with all of the above.

The word love kept coming up, because one of the things which had seemed to change in me over the last year was my own feeling of love for the world at large…it had hardened a bit and there were a lot of feelings of mistrust for others and especially myself. Core parts of myself and my beliefs about things were rattled to their foundations. Then, I started to dig deeper and the word mindfulness just clicked into place as the word for 2019, because it encompasses not only a higher capacity for love, but many other things which will bring me closer to being the person I’ve always been at my deepest levels.

Definition of mindfulness 

1 : the quality or state of being mindful

2 : the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis also : such a state of awareness

I’ve been working with mindfulness for the past several months, and let me tell you, allowing myself to be more present with my state of being has been nothing short of amazing. The biggest thing I’ve noticed with this practice so far is that I’m becoming a lot less reactive. By being in the moment, acknowledging what is without judgement, or worse…overanalyzing things by diving into the past or trying to look to far ahead (which has always been hard for me), my life has begun to change in ways I’ve always wished for.

In just the last few months, I’ve seen a huge shift in my feelings about myself and the world. I am able to be much more of an observer of what is, and this has allowed me to be more appreciative and patient. The interesting thing about this is that at the same time, I am much more able to step back when needed, because my feelings of responsibility for and attachment to outcomes has done a complete turn around. This has been the most refreshing thing I’ve ever experienced, and that is not an exaggeration.

All of this has made it easier to transition back into a more creative state of being. This is something which I’m tremendously grateful for, because this was another one of the things that had taken a big hit over the past year or so, along with my sense of spirituality. Those two things are such an integral part of my core that it was literally painful to experience a prolonged period of time wondering if I’d find them again. Finding a mindfulness practice feels like it saved my life, perhaps literally.

Rather than staying stuck in the loop of trying to force myself to get back to “normal”, I learned to acknowledge and honor what was for a while. So, I spent a few months taking care of what absolutely needed to be done, checking in with how I was feeling, then sitting on my couch binge watching various shows on Netflix and Hulu. I learned to let go of my expectations of myself and others too. After a while, I had given myself permission to just be where I needed to be and enjoy the moment, instead of trying to rush myself through the process.

Before I go, I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me through this huge transition phase. 2018 taught me just how amazing some of the people in my life are. Here’s to a wonderful, and smoother 2019!

Much love ❤

 

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Word Of The Year For 2018

I would have normally had my word for the year chosen long before now. This year though has been so full of ups and downs that it had completely slipped my mind until my best friend mentioned it a few weeks ago. Ever since then, I’ve been digging deep to think of what I’d like to choose as my word for next year (which is rapidly approaching).

2017 has been a rough one, and I’m pretty glad to see it going. To be fair, I’ve learned a lot about life and myself this year, but I have to say that it could have been a lot gentler.  I’ve had an ass kicking of epic proportions! Who am I to question though? The way that the past several months have gone has been so extreme that I’ll likely be picking up some of the pieces for a while to come. However, I’ve always been willing to roll my sleeves up and work on whatever needs to be done and this time is no different in that aspect. The good thing about times like these is that the comeback always sees me stronger, and better than before.

So, without further adieu, my word for 2018 is “Trust”. For a while, the word confidence was in the running, but for where I am at this moment, trust is the better choice. Not only that, but I have come to believe that confidence is a part of trust. For if there is no trust in ourselves, in the richness of life, in the goodness of people in general, in love, and in the knowledge that we can always grow and achieve, that there can be no confidence.

I’ve spent the past several weeks in a state of suspension, and have reminded myself on a daily basis to trust that everything would level out and that I’ll be up and creating again before I know it. For a little while, I tried to push myself to get back into the swing of things and found that I simply wasn’t ready. So, instead of making matters worse than they already were, I learned to be still…be with myself…even be depressed…all so that I could practice trust in the process of my own renewal.

There will be some changes coming in 2018, both here and in my life behind the scenes. My art will be making a comeback, only it will be more of a throwback as I’m finding myself inspired to revisit some art forms which have been dormant for a few years. As I cleaned out my art supply area about a week ago, I was flipping through old sketch books and art journals, to discover that there were a few areas in which I was gaining proficiency. Not to mention…I remembered how much flipping fun it was working on those pieces. There will be more poetry to come as well, not only haiku.

As for the other things I have in store…well, we’ll all just have to wait and see them as they unfurl, myself included. I’m in the middle of a major revamp, but due to recent events, things are moving in baby steps. I’m okay with that…it feels good to take my time and flesh things out…to study…to plan. I will say that it’s definitely exciting and unlike anything I’ve ever offered before. How is it all going to look? I can’t honestly say, but…

I have trust! ❤

Here’s to new beginnings

Celtic New Year ~ Word of the Year

Samhain has arrived again, which for me among other things, means that it is time to choose my word for the upcoming year. I’ve been doing this now for several years and it is something that I have grown to look forward to. I not only look forward to choosing a word for the year ahead, I also enjoy reflecting on the year just past to see how the word for that year influenced my life.

My word for this past year was listen, and let me tell you, it was a perfect year for listening. I spent all of 2016 learning to and giving myself permission to tune in and listen to the subtle whispers of my soul…listening for the hints, subtle and not so subtle which we all have pouring in that point us in the direction that’s in our best interest. The secret is tuning into the signal, much like tuning in to the right station on a radio or TV in order to listen to our favorite music or watch a good show or movie.

As I move through any given year, I consciously stop to remind myself of what my word is and ask myself how I can best align with it as I go through my days. In this past year, the act of listening has opened up so much for me. So many of the barriers and limiting beliefs have been dissolved or are at least well on their way to being dissolved. This has allowed me to release what needed to be released, move more comfortably into my own skin…my true callings…and contented, peaceful, enthusiasm at a more rapid rate and more comfortably than ever before. No, it wasn’t all easy, but somehow it was just different from in the past.

The act of listening has become such an ingrained part of me over this last year, that I’ll be happily carrying it forward from here on. Now, to move on to the year ahead. The act of listening to and acting on all of the whispers and hints which poured in has put in me very positive situations and set the stage for the real magic to continue. So my word for this year is…

Live!

For many years now, I’ve been doing much inner work, reflection, and what I like to think of as rewiring. Now, I’m ready to go much more external and live fully. This isn’t to say that I feel as though I’m fully hatched because really, none of us ever are. There are always more things to learn, it’s always a good idea to keep checking the gauges of our lives to see where we stand from time to time, and it’s definitely a good idea to maintain practices in our daily lives which keep us spiritually nourished.

With all of that being said, the time is right for me to take all of the knowledge and changes which I’ve worked on over the past several years and run with them. I feel an enthusiasm for life which hasn’t existed in me for a very long time. It isn’t that I’ve been going around in a total fog, it’s just that this enthusiam which I feel now was not nearly as intense in the past and admittedly at times it was at such a low level as to be practically indiscernable.

Going forth into this year, I’ll be giving myself permission to move beyond the old fears and mental limitations which were largely released last year and really step it up and live all of the things that I’ve been working on and dreaming of. Doors have been opening up and I’m finally ready to walk through them. This feels like a time of action…of movement, and I’m excited to see where the road leads.

Do you have a theme or word which you’ll be focusing on this year? If so, I’d love to hear about it!