Poetry ~ Rediscovery

Opening the door to a brand new me

Not that all has changed, but enough

Tossed and turned by truth, lies, and betrayal

In the wake, the question looms

Who am I now?

This place is exciting, freeing, and scary all at once

For there are parts of me which don’t seem to live here anymore

Not sure that this is a bad thing

Waiting for the dust to settle so that I can see clearly

I feel the need for some of the additions to my essentia

Yet, they worry me at the same time

New levels of distrust and caution have entered

These dangerous words have a dual edge which can free or cut

While needing to embrace more caution, for my own wellbeing

There’s resentment for the way in which I’ve been forced to let it in

Not sure if I truly want to absorb those feelings

For while they protect, they can steal precious life and joy

Yes, people, including myself are fucked up to infinity

Some though, storm the castle walls, tearing them to shreds

While wearing the guise of an ally

Intentional or not is irrelevant, for the destruction is all the same

They rip away sense of security, and the walls which were trained with blooms

The beautiful parts which when removed, strip away the verve

Things which make up the self

For a while, I’ll be sorting through the rubble

Tossing out the rubbish, repairing cracks in things I need to keep

And finding pieces to emerge stronger, both old and new

It’ll all be better than ever

Perhaps, someday I’ll be grateful for the lessons

For the beautiful phoenix who is rising from the ashes

Will be stronger, better, more joyful

For now though, I’m walking a fine line

Between the world of forgiveness

And hanging on to the reminders of what brought me here

So that the sword which felled the blow

Never has the chance to inflict another wound

Just going to let that one sit on the back burner

While I focus on rediscovering myself.

Sharing What I’m Grateful For

Each day, I write down a minimum of five things which I’m thankful for. I have come here and shared some of these in the past, and I thought it would be fun to to it again. My lists run from the everyday to the major milestones. It has become a vital part of my daily routine to jot a few things down. Typically, I write these in the morning because I like to start my day out in a positive frame of mind, but there are times that I just do not make it to my journal until night has fallen. Sometimes the night lists add a different perspective, so changing it up can be nice.

The reason that I am sharing this with all of you is that while many of you probably already do something like this, perhaps some of you do not and might find it as valuable as I have in the years which I’ve been doing it…and maybe some of you used to do something like this and have let the practice lapse. Hey, no judgement here. I am the queen of fading in and out of practice…with many things. Please feel free to share some of the things which you are grateful for in the comments. I’d love to hear about some of the things in your lives which make your heart happy.

*Thankful for a good follow up with the specialist I’ve been seeing about a pre-cancerous condition-he’s giving me a break from the hormone therapy for a few months (maybe longer).

*  Thankful that I’m noticing a positive difference in my health, sleep patterns, and energy levels since adopting a vegan diet and daily exercise.

*  Thankful for the wonderful love and support which I receive from my friends and family.

*  Thankful that another piece of my writing was published.

*  Thankful for increasing clarity about my needs and wishes, as well as more clarity about the relationships in my life.

*  Thankful for a terrific group of friends, both old and new.

*  Thankful for all of the doors which have opened, making the way for me to follow my dreams.

*  Thankful to finally have a good enough relationship with myself that I truly know who I am and feel good about what I see.

*  Thankful for the miraculous things I’ve seen happening in the lives of others.

*  Thankful for the opportunity to make a positive impact with my work and in everyday life.

*  Thankful for devoting time each day for self care/soul care, no matter how small. It makes such a difference.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus Post ~ Letter To My Younger Self

Yesterday, Miriam’s Well published a letter to my you younger self that I had sent in response to a call for submissions. Many of us have wished that our present day selves could go and have a chat with our younger selves about life. Sitting down to write this letter was a very healing experience. I highly recommend that some of you give it a try sometime.

To read the letter, please click here. Sure I could post it here, but I’d really like Miriam’s Well to get the traffic for being so kind as to publish my letter. Feel free to come back here to comment. ❤