Glimpse Into My Day

Today has been a wonderful day of happy surprises and beautiful things. First and foremost, my best friend from way back in the fifth grade is having a VERY special day today and I couldn’t be more tickled. Only thing that would have made it better would be if I could have been there .

Before my day got started I had a few conversations with friends both old and new, as well as getting to hear a voice that always makes me smile while having coffee.

My day is being spent gloriously happy. I’m editing my poetry book.

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I got an early delivery of a massive amount of acrylic paint to further explore my newfound painting method, which someone was sweet enough to surprise me with. I have more paint sitting here which was gifted to me by my sister, but I won’t be unboxing that until she is here visiting. Can’t wait to see them! Last night I came across a fantastic sale on canvases and ordered a batch of 20- 16×20″. So, be prepared to see a lot of new art posts in the near future.

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Last but not least, I ordered some flowers last week from a local florist and she called to let me know that they were in. I’ve been craving a big bouquet of peonies and hydrangeas for the past few years and decided to treat myself.

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Now that I’ve gotten all of the deliveries in the door, it’s time to get back to editing. Just thought I’d share a glimpse of my day with all of you. Hope that you are having some happy moments of your own today.

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Love Letter ~ Sitting With It

Dear beautiful souls,

There are times in each of our lives in which we simply do not know which direction to turn. There could be any number of situations that leave us feeling this way. Sometimes the only thing which we can do is to simply sit with it. There are times in which continuing to search for a solution or answer just deepens the feelings of confusion or frustration.

While it isn’t as though we can entirely forget about things which may be troubling us, we can find a space of relative peace in which we play the role of the observer, allowing things to play out for a while. Being the observer when things aren’t exactly going according to plan is definitely a learned skill, and it isn’t even as though once it is learned that it is forever automatic.

Our humanity, and the nature of life, with all of its cycles…and ups and downs, make the role of observer more of a practice than a learned skill. While it gets easier to bring things into that space with time, please do not feel as though you are doing something wrong if it sometimes takes a while to reign in the fear, anger, or other feelings which are part of our existence. Taking up the practice of observing is one which can be entered into by anyone, no matter what their belief system (or lack thereof).

Whether you believe in higher beings, universal energy, or just follow the natural order of life-one thing is certain. In time the answer, way out, way up, or solution always becomes apparent. And, sometimes it is when we sit back for a little while and observe that the greatest milestones in our lives happen. Call it a trust in the power that is, or simply a practical knowledge of the inevitability of change. Either way you slice it, there is a certain type of tranquility which comes with simply being for a while. It isn’t the same thing as resignation. It is a deep wisdom which comes with the understanding that we do not always have an immediate solution…that sometimes things have to run their course for a while.

Sometimes the best thing that we can do for ourselves is take a deep breath, take a nap, take a walk, and let whatever the issue is fade into the background for a while. In the time between dissatisfaction and improvement, there is still a life to be lived and believe it or not, much to appreciate. Be gentle, don’t force it, don’t beat yourself up. Sit with things for a while.

Much love,

Tracy

Love Letter ~ Love All Of You, Yes…All

Dear beautiful souls,

We all have parts of ourselves which feel more difficult to love than others. Today, I’m going to share with you one of the parts of myself which used to be my touchiest subject. Since I was a young child, I’ve been able to see and communicate with the dead. Not only that, but I’ve always known things that I’ve had no way of knowing. In my house, this was not cool. In my community, this was not cool. In my parent’s religion this was definitely not cool. It didn’t take long for me to learn to fear and loathe this part of myself. There was no support. I’m not telling you this in order to elicit pity. Those early trials have made coming to acceptance and love of this part of myself all the sweeter.

Over the years, the negative feelings which I had around that part of myself led to many different types of manifestations…psychological, emotional, and physical. By the time I finally realized that I could examine this aspect of me for myself, instead of going by everyone else’s word for it, a lot of damage had been done. My self-esteem was very low, I lived in a lot of fear because try as I might, I couldn’t just turn it off completely, and my immune system and weight were not in a good place due to all the stress. As a matter of fact, I’m still working on the repair aspect after almost four decades of imbalance.

So, what led me to seeing things for myself? After many years, I was able to turn around and look at all of the people who had told me how “bad” this part of me was. Let me tell you, they were no role models. I’m not saying that they were all horrible people. It’s just that all of them had their own stuff and some of it was way more damning than my stuff. Nope, this isn’t about judgement of them either. That phase is also in the past. Admittedly, I carried some anger around for a while. At the same time I was able to look objectively at that particular aspect of myself and see it for what it really is, a gift.

The best advice that I can give to any of you who are on the road to loving all of yourselves is this…begin to think for yourself. Ask yourself how YOU really feel about that part of you. At first it might be easier to ask how you would see someone else who shared that particular trait or aspect with you. It is my best guess that most of you will say that you’d accept whatever it is in someone else with no questions, or at least without harsh judgement. See what happened there? You’re no different. Begin to see yourself through the lenses of your own eyes. Let others worry about their own views.

Of course, if you find after very careful examination that there is a part of you which doesn’t fit with who you really are and who you aspire to be, you can begin to do something about it. Something which doesn’t involve hate or blame. Love that part of yourself and thank it for its lessons, then begin to shift more in the direction of who you truly are and what values you wish to embrace. There’s no need for judgement. It only keeps you low for longer than you need to be.

Love yourselves with all you’ve got. You are the only you that will ever be…and you are amazing!

Much love,

Tracy

Love Letter ~ Right Where You Are

Dear beautiful souls,

In this fast-paced world that we live in, many of us have gotten so accustomed to looking at life through the lens of time, instead of in the moment. From a young age we are taught to prepare for “someday”, “the future”, and to “look back at our mistakes”. While a little bit of planning and reflection are not bad things, always living or looking to the past and future make self acceptance and overall success and satisfaction difficult.

After all, if we are constantly looking at our perhaps less than ideal current conditions, blaming ourselves due to the past, it truly isn’t productive. At the same time, if we are always looking to the future for ways to improve our lives or our selves, that isn’t productive either.

There’s a lot to be said for this very moment, right here, right now. When we retrain ourselves or deepen our awareness and appreciation for what is in front of us at any given moment, a brilliant thing happens. All of that stress we’ve been carrying around like a monkey on our back because we’ve been looking back at all of our mistakes? Gone. The anxiety we feel about not only how we’re going to get from point a to point b, but if we’re even capable of achieving it? Gone.

Being present in the now is one of the biggest gifts which we can give to ourselves. You see, when you take away the shame and blame of the past and the fear about the future, what you’re left with is an increased appreciation for yourself, your life, and what is around you. It opens the doors to ever increasing self love, clarity, and relaxation. It’s so much easier to find solutions to things when we are focused on the present moment, as opposed to trying to figure out every possible outcome or fork in the road or comparing to the past.

Please, give yourself permission to release yourself from the chains of time. Be here, now. Taking off the filters of someday and yesterday is like turning on the windshield wipers when it’s pouring rain…everything clears right up. What we did or didn’t do in the past is just that…past. What might happen next year if x,y, or z does or doesn’t happen is just a maybe.

The one piece in time which we always have some control over is now. Learning to live in the now takes practice, just like any new skill. No matter what your path in life, there’s a lot to be learned about being in the now from Zen Buddhism. So, if you find yourself looking for tips and advice on living in the moment try looking at a few Zen websites or checking out a book or two (just so you know, I’m not a Buddhist, I just have a deep appreciation for the philosophy). Making our way into the present is making our way to a beautiful, calmer, more joyful life, which is my wish for each and every one of us.

With love and wishes for ever growing peace and happiness,

Tracy ❤

 

 

So Much Goodness

For a long while, I had been posting Angel cards on Wednesdays. I’ve decided to change things up and just come here and pour out a little of my heart and soul instead. I’m not sure if I’ll be bringing the cards back, but I will say that at this point it isn’t my intention. I’ve missed showing up and just chatting about the things that matter. So, for the time being that’s what Wednesdays will be for. It’s hard to tell what will bubble to the surface, so I hope that you’ll stick around and join in.

Today just feels like a good day to think about the good things in life. In this time of shifting, social unrest, and what can only be described as upheaval, it can sometimes feel as though there is little hope and kindness in the world. There are times in which I briefly feel that way, and then something happens to remind me of how much love there is around me. My family isn’t a large one, but the few that I have make up for size with true love and acceptance. My friends may be few, but those that I have are not just acquaintances, they are part of my family.

In addition to the wonderful people in my life, there are a lot of good things happening on a personal level. Things which excite me. Things which bring me joy. My editor Melissa Scott and I have finally put my novel to bed. She was a joy to work with, and I couldn’t be happier with the end result. It feels so good to see this project completed. The next step is to put together a kick ass query package to send off to an agent this week. I have one who is interested in the concept, which is a great first step. The momentum is in high gear.

In addition to all of the above, I’ve recently taken huge measures to take control of my health and the inflammation in my body. I kept getting nudges to go vegan…at least for a while. I had been vegan for a few weeks last year before my father’s passing. It seemed to be agreeing with me, but honestly after the events of that time, I kinda just didn’t care for a while about much of anything. Anyway, fast forward to a little over a year later…the nudges kept getting stronger and stronger. There was even a dream in which a male voice said loud and clear, “If you want to heal and survive you will go vegan.”

Well, there was no more ignoring all of the nudges after that. So, as of today I’ve been vegan for almost 4 weeks. So far, it is agreeing with me. My levels of inflammation and overall pain are slowly decreasing, my skin has cleared up to the point that I no longer need to use my topical cream for rosacea, my mind feels clearer, and I’m losing some weight. It’s hard to tell how things will go in the long term with all of this, but as of this moment in time, I feel grateful that I am doing what I’m doing because it is making me feel better. This is not a moral or political statement. It is about me, taking measures to help my body to heal.

The whole point of this post is that even in the midst of chaos, there are good things and people to be found and remembered. These are the things which keep us going each day. In every life, there are regular occurrences of difficulty and stress to some extent. Impermanence is one of the things which I am in total agreement with Buddhism about. Here are two of my favorite quotes on the subject:

Life is fragile, like the dew hanging delicately on the grass, crystal drops that will be carried away on the first morning breeze. – Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

Impermanence is a principle of harmony. When we don’t struggle against it, we are in harmony with reality. – Pema Chodron

While we walk the face of this earth, there will be challenges. In the midst of them however, there is still good. Remembering how transient the events in our lives are is so good for the heart and soul. It is in the certainty of the temporary nature of things that we can find so much comfort, especially in times of difficulty.

Meeting Life Halfway

Lately, I’ve been thinking a good bit about how much of a role we play in helping the Universe to honor our requests. Some people may call this praying, others making a wish, and others still something else. No matter what we choose to call it, the concept is the same. We have all at one time or another asked for help with something. There are all sorts of things which people ask for.

Being willing and ready to be proactive in our lives and not see ourselves as being “at the mercy of” fate (or another word of your choice) is important. Think of it this way. If I were to repeatedly ask to meet my soul mate, and then lament the fact that it wasn’t happening…yet, I sat in my home all the time working…would it be fair of me to be angry with the powers that be? No. Of course it wouldn’t. If my desire were to meet my soul mate, I’d have to put myself in a position for the universe to allow us to cross paths.

It’s the same with all areas of our lives. While I do not believe that we are in control of absolutely everything, I do believe that we have a much bigger role in our circumstances than many of us acknowledge. The point that I’m making here is that believing in miracles is something that I am all for. At the same time, I also believe that we often play a role in helping those miracles to manifest. It starts with our attitude and continues with our actions.

Some of you may think that I am contradicting the idea of having faith. The opposite is true. There is a difference between having faith and throwing your hands up in the air in frustration and waiting for someone else to handle it. Faith is made of two parts. Part one is believing that all things are possible. Part two is doing our part to get things moving in the right direction with both our thoughts and our actions. It’s kind of like ordering takeout. I could stand by my door all day wishing for someone to bring a delicious meal. Unless I pick up the phone or go online to place an order, I’m going to get pretty hungry.

On the other hand, let’s look at a scenario in which we wish for a better job. If I were to wish for a better job and start looking, yet I believed that there weren’t any to be found or that no one would hire me for the type of job that I desired, what do you think would happen? My negative beliefs about my ability to get a better job aren’t going to help my case. We all wield a lot more power than many of us believe. While sometimes things are out of our control, and ups and downs happen in all of our lives, we still have a choice in how we are going to choose to deal with them. There’s a lot to be said for the power of our convictions.

 

Momentum

Last week, I made mention of the importance of momentum this year. There are several factors, most important being numerological, which make keeping things rolling very important for the remainder of this year. In numerology time goes in nine year cycles, with a a 1 year being for new beginnings or fresh starts and a 9 year being for bringing things to completion or fruition. This year is a 9 year, and this is how:

2016= 2+0+1+6 which = 9

While we are more than half way through this year, it is not too late to kick things into gear if you haven’t already. Think back over the course of the past 9 years, and bring to mind the things which you have been thinking about wishing to accomplish the most or that you may have even taken some preliminary steps with. These are the things that you will wish to focus on for the remainder of this year.

Make decisions about whether you still wish to follow through with all of the things which have drifted into your awareness over the past 9 year cycle. If you have some things which no longer resonate with you (we all will, more than likely), this is the time to set them free and concentrate on what matters most to you. When we keep holding onto things which no longer ring true, it is so easy to allow ourselves to become stuck due to guilt over not accomplishing those things. So, right now the biggest favor that you can do for yourself is to honestly evaluate what you’d like to see get finished this year. Once you get it figured out, you can set yourself free and take action on the things that matter.

Since we are so far into the year, it’s key to not take too long with your evaluation process. Listen to your heart, as it already knows the answer anyway. Please allow hope and optimism to be your guides through the coming months. While there is some urgency about all of this, keep in mind that the time is right for manifesting wonderful things. Keep stress out of the equation as much as possible and give yourself permission to dream big. Now more than most times, positive visualization is your friend.

See yourself successful in what ever it is that you wish to achieve. Really see yourself as you wish to be and where you wish to be, feel the feelings of success, incorporate textures and scents etc. While it is important to follow your instincts with action, try not to get bogged down in the details. Listen to the whispers of your soul and your guides/angels/God/Goddess. The upcoming four months are not the time for the what if game. Believe in yourself and dream big. Know that I’ll be here wishing for your dreams to come true…and then some.