Dear beautiful souls,
We all have parts of ourselves which feel more difficult to love than others. Today, I’m going to share with you one of the parts of myself which used to be my touchiest subject. Since I was a young child, I’ve been able to see and communicate with the dead. Not only that, but I’ve always known things that I’ve had no way of knowing. In my house, this was not cool. In my community, this was not cool. In my parent’s religion this was definitely not cool. It didn’t take long for me to learn to fear and loathe this part of myself. There was no support. I’m not telling you this in order to elicit pity. Those early trials have made coming to acceptance and love of this part of myself all the sweeter.
Over the years, the negative feelings which I had around that part of myself led to many different types of manifestations…psychological, emotional, and physical. By the time I finally realized that I could examine this aspect of me for myself, instead of going by everyone else’s word for it, a lot of damage had been done. My self-esteem was very low, I lived in a lot of fear because try as I might, I couldn’t just turn it off completely, and my immune system and weight were not in a good place due to all the stress. As a matter of fact, I’m still working on the repair aspect after almost four decades of imbalance.
So, what led me to seeing things for myself? After many years, I was able to turn around and look at all of the people who had told me how “bad” this part of me was. Let me tell you, they were no role models. I’m not saying that they were all horrible people. It’s just that all of them had their own stuff and some of it was way more damning than my stuff. Nope, this isn’t about judgement of them either. That phase is also in the past. Admittedly, I carried some anger around for a while. At the same time I was able to look objectively at that particular aspect of myself and see it for what it really is, a gift.
The best advice that I can give to any of you who are on the road to loving all of yourselves is this…begin to think for yourself. Ask yourself how YOU really feel about that part of you. At first it might be easier to ask how you would see someone else who shared that particular trait or aspect with you. It is my best guess that most of you will say that you’d accept whatever it is in someone else with no questions, or at least without harsh judgement. See what happened there? You’re no different. Begin to see yourself through the lenses of your own eyes. Let others worry about their own views.
Of course, if you find after very careful examination that there is a part of you which doesn’t fit with who you really are and who you aspire to be, you can begin to do something about it. Something which doesn’t involve hate or blame. Love that part of yourself and thank it for its lessons, then begin to shift more in the direction of who you truly are and what values you wish to embrace. There’s no need for judgement. It only keeps you low for longer than you need to be.
Love yourselves with all you’ve got. You are the only you that will ever be…and you are amazing!