New Views On Shadow Work and The Laws of Attraction

The past week has been very enlightening for me when it comes to the issues of attitude, law of attraction, shadow work, and negativity. I’ve had a tendency to take things to extremes when it comes to those types of things…well either that, or just throwing up my hands in confusion. I still stand by my assertion that we need to dip into our shadows (notice I say dip, not dwell) in order to find ourselves. I still stand by my assertion that it isn’t realistic to expect anyone to be all positive all the time.

Where my perspective has changed is in that I no longer believe that the goal of shadow work is to figure out the source of our trouble is with the end goal of making it go away or to permanently alter the effects. There was a part of me that always longed to find the source of my angst and to be able to completely work it out of my system, or to somehow be able to eliminate all negative effects of the past on my being. Then when I couldn’t manage that, I would feel guilty and blame myself for not being strong or enlightened enough to do it. This was so self sabotaging…not to mention limiting. Well, thanks to some very wise people and some time spent in reflection about this, my perspective has drastically been altered.

Not long ago I began doing forgiveness and parenting exercises…with myself. While these exercises proved to be immensely powerful, I was still finding myself somewhat mired down and making as much progress as I would have liked. My awareness was brought to those exercises over the past week in the form of some brilliant conversations as well as a recorded interview which I listened to. Read on for my epiphany.

It isn’t necessary for me to keep taking the thorn covered brambles out of the compost pile for yet another look. It isn’t necessary for me to never again have a negative thought in order for me to attract a better life. What shifted? I am now integrating those exercises in forgiveness and parenting into my daily life, yes…even the shadows…especially the shadows!

Do we ever reach a point where the ugly stuff never rears its head again? I don’t think so. We always carry at least part of our past around with us. So, when it does show its face are we somehow failing by acknowledging it? Not thinking so here either. As of right now, I think that healing can be found when we can look at those thoughts, parts of ourselves, and past experiences which we know are holding us back and causing us pain in the following way. To acknowledge that they are there, and then to forgive and love ourselves…and the feelings. The point of the exercises in my opinion is to stop the punishment cycle within ourselves by feeding love into the fear and pain…much like a good and caring mother kisses the boo-boos on her little one’s knees.

Over the years, my viewpoints and approaches to many things have changed. I can’t promise you that what I’ve written about today will not shift at some point in the future as I learn and grow more. One of my beliefs which has never changed is that I see each and every person who ever enters my life as a teacher of sorts, so please share your (constructive) thoughts on this. I would love to hear what you think.

If you’re feeling stuck, I would love to help you to make a similar shift in your life with an intuitive teaching session, please contact me through the readings and intuitive services page. I’ll be adding information about this new service very soon!

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Reinvention

It has been a long while since I’ve written an actual words and thoughts sort of post here. It isn’t that I had lost my desire to write things with a point. There were just other things going on in my life. During the month of April, I was completely absorbed in writing poetry and doing art work. In addition, I was also discovering things about myself at a deep level. There was an opportunity to become involved with a talented group of people doing intuitive and oracle card readings. This is something which I felt was a dream come true, so I completely poured myself into developing those aspects of myself, doing some marketing, preparing for a large event, etc.

What I found out was that while I truly enjoy doing readings, it isn’t my passion. I found myself feeling increasingly mired down with the minutiae to the point that it seemed as though I had little if any time for anything else. So, I sat back and thought about what it was that I was doing and was surprised to discover that I truly missed writing, that I wanted to dive more deeply into the work on Sisters In The Shadows, and that I desired more time for developing my skills as an artist. After thinking about it long and hard, I made the decision to withdraw from the group and spend more time working on other things. Of course I will still do readings here and there if and when they pop up, but it just isn’t where I want my primary focus to be.

So, once more I find myself back at the drawing board in a way, but it feels good. Being a ‘professional’ psychic had been on my bucket list for quite some time, and even though I’ve discovered that it wasn’t quite what I expected, it feels great to cross something off the list. With every endeavor and discovery, I truly believe that I am one step closer to figuring out how to work with my passions as well as my capabilities and limits and turn it all into something that benefits both myself and others in one way or another. Why am I telling you all of this?

Because I wanted to share my recent experiences in the hope that it might help someone else to see how important it is to keep going…not to give up. I could let this latest discovery discourage me to the point that I give up, but I won’t. As long as I have breath in my body, I have another opportunity to change, to figure out what it is that I can do to succeed. This is what I wish for you too. That you keep on working on it. If you discover that something isn’t working…even if it’s something which you thought would be your dream come true…do not give up. Find something else. This can apply to a career, a hobby, and even a relationship. Sometimes it seems like it takes forever to find that dream situation, only to have it turn out to be completely different than you expected. It can be very hard to face the fact that it isn’t what you need in your life and let go because you had wanted it for so long. I get it, trust me. However, the alternative to facing the truth of the matter and being willing to get back out there and look again is a life of monotony at best, and misery at worst. I’m not telling you to go quit your job if it is your only way of surviving…that would be irresponsible…I’m just saying that you owe it to yourself to explore ways of making changes in your life which will be more fulfilling.

Are you in a situation now which has left you feeling like there is something missing or have you been through a reinvention process? I’d love to hear about it.

11 Things…

I just finished reading the latest post on a blog I’ve been following for a while. The post over at Rainbow Hues today gave Kajal’s answers to the “11 Things Which Every Woman Should Write Down Before The Year Ends”  from the Oprah website. I loved reading her post and so…I’m going to follow her lead.

1. What younger you would like about present you: 

That I’m finally getting the courage to follow my own path instead of allowing others to dictate it to me. Younger me used to sit on the bed with her back to the corner and cry, wondering why there was apparently something so wrong with her that her every move seemed to displease those she wanted to please the most. This might sound hardcore, but present me has learned not to give a damn about the approval of others. Opinions are welcomed but approval is completely superfluous.

2. The watched/read it list

I have been watching more TV than normal lately and have been a tad better about watching a few movies. It isn’t that I dislike movies, it’s just not easy for me to sit still and focus on something for that long unless it’s really good. Not long ago I re-watched “The Nightmare Before Christmas”, a few Tinkerbell movies (I know lol), also re-watched “Zeitgeist”, a few scary movies, and episodes of “Ghost Whisperer”, “Medium”, “Big Bang Theory”, and the original “Law & Order”. I’ve watched some other things too, but the list escapes me. I can remember watching a few movies that made me cry but don’t ask me to name them.  As for reading…wow the list is way too long to even try to place here. I’ve been reading a lot of light fiction at night before sleep. During the day and evenings I’ve been reading some spiritual stuff, poetry, and articles about art.

3. The mistake you never want to make 

Okay, I have two. This would be better worded as the mistakes that I never want to re-make. Way too many times in my life I have given my heart…completely wide open…to people who have exploited and abused it, and not just romantically. It isn’t that I no longer wish to give my heart. I just need to be more selective on whom I open it to. I also no longer wish to allow fear to keep me from pursuing my dreams. These two things are the two biggest mistakes I’ve already made and would not like to repeat.

4. Your ideal outfit

I have two here too. The first one is completely serious, the second is for fun but I honestly do like it and would wear it…though maybe a different color or less pink. A little pink goes a long way in my book.

Scarf outfit

NERD

5. A deep, dark–shh–secret

I don’t keep many secrets, but here is one which I might not have ever shared publicly. I have often had the desire to just disappear and let very, very few people know where I am…to just start over…to leave the past behind.

6. The most unexpected compliment you ever got

This is a tough one to answer without feeling as though one is bragging, which I truly dislike. One of the most difficult instructors I had in college was the woman who taught a some of the science courses…anatomy/physiology and microbiology to name a few. Well, I remember one day in class she was showing some slides and randomly choosing people to identify the type of cell we were looking at. Well, she pulled up this one and called me. This was my answer, “I have no idea what the hell I’m looking at there. This slide is a mess”, which elicited titters all around. She then asked if anyone else could identify it and no one could. She turned back to me and named the cell which I can’t remember now, but I said, “Wow, there’s no way that this is ______. The wall is completely wrong. I can see the markers in the center but the wall makes identification difficult for someone still learning this stuff. This is either a diseased cell or someone compromised the slide”. She asked me to stay after and I thought I was in deep shit. To my surprise she told me that she had always been impressed by my ‘brilliant mind’ and begged me to change my major. She told me that she felt that I was wasting my talents by sticking with what I had chosen. It blew my socks off to get such high praise from her!

7. That one quote

This quote is one which I try to be mindful of. It can change my frame of mind when I’m having one of those days where you just want to slap the hell out of someone.

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not. ~Samuel Johnson

8. The best surprise you’ve ever had

Believe it or not, I have to give credit to my ex-husband here. One weekend morning, he asked me to get dressed but to get back into bed. He said that he wanted to make breakfast. Who would turn down such a rarity? So I did. A little while later he comes in and tells me to get my purse, so I jokingly asked him if he had burned our breakfast and followed him out the front door. He had rented a convertible sports car for the day and we drove up the coast to our favorite little town. It was an amazing day…wind in our hair…sunshine…it was lovely.

9. Your true happiness

My true happiness is found walking hand in hand with someone I love…wandering aimlessly through galleries, book stores, coffee houses, pubs, swimming in the ocean, walking in the forest…just soaking it all in. Finding things to giggle about…sharing private jokes and stolen kisses. Romance…truly makes me happy…nurtures my creativity…makes the world go round. This could also go into the deep, dark secret category…no secret that I’m a person who loves to create things…words, images, garments, etc…but what not many know is that I reach the height of inspiration when embroiled in romance. Probably not such a rare thing…I can’t speak for others…but it definitely makes me tick.

10. Your favorite failure

Not finishing my degree in nursing. As much as I love assisting others, I know that I wouldn’t have found bliss doing that for a living…I had even been thinking about going into pre-med. Since I’m admitting things here I may as well admit that I never finished a degree in anything…at least not yet. Back to my favorite failure…I was coming into the home stretch of the program when my mother had a massive heart attack right in front of me, and died. There was nothing that I could have done to save her. What made it so difficult is that we were working on the cardiovascular system at the time and it was too raw…too painful. I tried returning to class but could not. I was quite upset and felt like a failure for some time afterward, but I realized later that it had truly never been my dream. I’m still working on that part but am glad that I walked away from that.

11. An amendment to the bucket list

I’d like to cross off working with a crystal ball and add falling madly in love with the perfect man for me. I’m not looking to get married again. Not all the way opposed to it, but honestly do not find it necessary. I’m waiting for that guy…the one who makes the room light up and my heartbeat quicken…the one to wander aimlessly with…the one who can take care of business but also knows how to dance under the stars by the sea. Who knows if he’ll come around…but I’ve got other things on the bucket list to work on while I’m waiting to find out.

If you made it all the way through this post…thank you so much. I know that it was a long one. If you haven’t taken any time to do something like this today, I would like to encourage you to do so. Introspection such as this on the cusp of a new year helps to set the stage and find focus. You won’t regret taking the time…I sure don’t.

Winter Solstice

The Winter Solstice, which is also the longest night of the year, is rapidly approaching…it will be here on December 21st…only a few days away. The Winter Solstice was celebrated by the ancients as the rebirth of the sun, as it marks when the days begin to grow longer and longer until the Summer Solstice rolls around again.These dark months of Winter are a great time to go within and reflect on the year before; to take measure of what we’ve completed, what we might need to release, and to figure out our priorities for the months ahead.

As I did a lot of the goal setting back on Samhain (I do this every year), which you can read about here, I’d like to narrow the focus for Yule by choosing three main priorities to contemplate and plan for over the Winter.

  1. To turn my passions into income.
  2. To figure out my love life.
  3. To make permanent changes in how I take care of my physical body.

As for what I’ve completed…well…I completed a decent amount of writing and art work, I was able to attend several meetup groups in various interests which is something I’ve always wanted to do, I finished several knitting and crochet projects, got a pet, I’ve figured out exactly who I am and what I want, and I passed the one year mark for quitting smoking.

As for what needs to be released…I’m not going to go into great detail here because there are some things which I prefer to hold close to my chest, so I’ll simplify by saying that I’ll be continuing to release interests, things, and relationships which no longer serve my highest good.

Life is fluid, therefore I reserve the right to change any and/or all of this at any time, but for now I’ll be focusing on the above.

What do you intend to contemplate during the dark Winter months?