Before getting into the subject, I wish you all of you a lovely full moon and Summer solstice. On this longest day of the year and brightly illuminated night, which are perfect energetic times for love, knowledge, protection and illumination; a post about what love is and the wisdom of knowing our responsibilities seemed fitting.
The other night, there was a discussion with someone about the process of learning what it means to step into your power lovingly and strongly. We talked about the concepts of forgiveness, love and responsibility. This conversation was about people who feel a calling to be of service to others in one form or another, and both learning and practicing discernment. To finally learn the difference between loving people and carrying loads which aren’t yours to bear, as well as what true forgiveness is, brings such profound freedom.
You see, caring and service oriented individuals are often taught either by others, or their own egos, that they are responsible for the outcome of the decisions of others. They are also under the impression that forgiveness means allowing themselves to be mistreated or neglected time and time again. Even worse is that they are led to believe that this is what the journey to enlightenment looks like. Most of you have heard the old adage, from the Bible, of turning the other cheek when you are wronged.
There is a big difference between sticking around for more and not retaliating. So many have taken the old saying a bit too literally, in my opinion. Sooner or later a person runs out of cheeks to turn and a choice has to be made, because eventually the damage from an imbalanced relationship will sink in to a person’s psyche and inflict harm. No one is responsible for enduring betrayals, maltreatment, or abuse in the name of turning the other cheek. The simple act of walking away is the high road. It frees you, and allows the other party to have space and time to rethink their actions. The important thing is that the responsibility for that rethinking lies strictly with them.
Being of service to others can take on many forms. The one thing that you can be certain of is that taking on responsibilities which aren’t yours is not necessary. Many times, we will take the stance that we should continue to endure relationships which aren’t healthy because it’s the “right thing to do”. At the end of the day, that voice is usually the voice of fear talking. Fear of losing the relationship with the other person. Fear of disapproval of others who have little understanding of the situation. Fear of failing to help someone enough.
If we look at those fear statements, we can easily see that service and love are nowhere in them. Remember this when, not if, you reach a point where you have run out of cheeks to turn. Sometimes, the kindest and wisest thing to do is to part ways with the sincere wish in your heart that the other person’s life leads them to what is in their highest good as you seek out that which is in your own. No need for revenge or holding onto toxic anger. A simple desire for the highest good of everyone involved truly is an act of love.