When writing about this topic, I rewrote the title and first few lines many times in order to convey exactly what is on my mind. There are many of us who are very sensitive, and this makes navigating the waters of our society a little tricky at times. Below I will be making a list of what life is like for sensitives and how they can make it through life a little more comfortably. Maybe this post will even help those who have relationships with sensitives understand us better.
- Sensitives pick up on cues and feelings fairly easily. Once they know that something makes another person feel bad or stressed, they will do their best to avoid doing or saying what it is that causes the other person discomfort. This is one of the reasons why people like talking with us so much. It is okay to let go of guilt when you need to withdraw from some people who continue to engage in certain things despite repeated attempts at asking them to stop. In addition, it is okay to take a stand and/or to withdraw when someone tries to make you feel bad for asking for what you need or for voicing your feelings. It doesn’t make you less loving when you practice self-care and preservation.
- Sensitives care about those they love very deeply. They literally feel the pain of those that matter to them, making them feel terrible when there is nothing that they can do to help. When their friend suffers heartbreak, the sensitive feels it right along with them. When someone they care about is going through a rough spot, the sensitive feels the stress right along with them. Often, a sensitive person will not ask for help because they do not wish to cause stress for the people they care about. When a sensitive is asked for help by someone who they care about, it is painful for them to have to deny the request. Often, a sensitive will try to explain how much they hate it that they cannot help and ask for understanding. When this understanding isn’t given, the sensitive becomes stressed to the max and experiences pain that the person doesn’t seem to be respectful of them. This can sometimes lead to the sensitive needing to withdraw, because the amount of stress and heartache takes a physical toll.
- Sensitives can come across as indecisive due to the amount of time it takes to make a decision. When someone with a lesser degree of sensitivity is asked what they would like to do, they are often much quicker at answering. It isn’t that a sensitive is trying to be difficult by taking longer. It is that they are picking up on subtle cues and attempting to figure out which option would make everyone involved the happiest. When a less sensitive person gets annoyed with them for how long it is taking, the sensitive will often shut down because they feel badly that their attempt to make sure everyone was happy made someone upset. Sensitives will need to toy around with ways which will lessen the amount of time it takes to decide while still letting them feel good about their choices. In addition, they should understand that there is nothing wrong with the way that they are, and that they shouldn’t be subjected to mean-spirited ridicule or unkindness.
- Sensitives tend to be intuitive and compassionate. This often leads to others desiring to speak with their sensitive friends about their problems. At the same time, the sensitive can get burned out because of the depth and intensity of their feelings. Not only that, but people get so accustomed to speaking with the sensitive about their difficulties that relationships can slide into unhealthy patterns. There are people out there who will take advantage of the sensitive because they feel the need to have attention. This leads to the sensitive always being the listener or rescuer. Over time, the sensitive feels drained and realizes that things are imbalanced. They will often try to even out the scales and salvage the relationship. Sometimes this is successful, which is the desirable outcome. Oftentimes, it isn’t possible to balance things out. In these cases, the sensitive needs to understand that they aren’t doing anything wrong by pulling away. It is possible to still love and care for someone deeply, even when that person cannot be part of your life on a regular basis, or perhaps not at all.
- Sensitives need more time and space than many others do. Due to the intensity of their feelings and the impact of interacting with others (even when it’s good), the sensitive needs time to recharge their batteries a bit before joining the world again. For those less sensitive, this can feel like the sensitive is ignoring them or doesn’t care. The sensitive should to try to explain this at least once or twice. Many people, while they won’t be able to relate, will understand that you genuinely care about them. Some will not understand or care to try, which may lead to an end of the relationship. Sensitives should remember that they didn’t do anything wrong by simply being themselves, and that while they may spend less time with friends than many do, that their levels of compassion and caring make them desirable and worthy of friendship.
Each week, I’ll be posting a video. For the time being, I’m calling the series “Ask Tracy”. The first one was released this past Wednesday on Facebook. In the future, the videos will be posted everywhere, including here, on Wednesday of each week. I’m including this week’s video in this post.
I’m inviting you to submit your questions of a spiritual, metaphysical, or paranormal nature. You can submit them here in comments, on YouTube in the video comments, or on Facebook. Just have them in by Monday night at 11:59 pm Eastern time. The question of the week is selected by random number generator in order to make it fair. I’m looking forward to doing this each week! Here’s the first video:
The energies of this week have been pretty intense. Mercury went retrograde again back on the 17th, the Autumn equinox took place on the 21st, and we are now building up to a super full moon and lunar eclipse on the 27th. People, myself included, are finding themselves finally facing off with old patterns and being given a boost in letting go of things which need to go, and gaining the courage to step into new ways of being.
The forward movement potential, as well as the releasing can feel a little scary for some (because change is a shake up of the expected and normal), as they finally stand up for who they are and give themselves permission to pursue their dreams. Trust me, I understand how unsettling it can be. I find myself fluctuating between happy dancing and wishing to pull my head back into my shell. The changes that we’re being afforded now are not minor…they have the potential of being life altering.
This is going to be a very short post compared to some of the past. I just wanted to come here and let you know that you aren’t alone if you’re feeling a little jangly or even freaked out right now. More importantly, I want to encourage you to keep breathing deeply and reminding yourselves that once everything settles, you’ll be on the road to a life which satisfies you more than ever if you should choose to let go of the old stuff and embrace moving ahead and doing new things in new ways. There may be some casualties when it comes to relationships or old ways of approaching your professional life, but that’s okay. Letting go, closing the door, or walking away makes room for what you’ve been desiring. You may very well decide that you aren’t ready to make such drastic moves, and that’s okay. No matter what, you will be learning something.
If you aren’t feeling anything at all…that’s okay too. This sort of thing isn’t for everyone. Not everyone believes in stuff like this, and I’m not asking you to. No matter what you may be feeling or what your personal viewpoints are, my intention and message for you are the same. I wish you a weekend as stress free as possible, and the strength to be able to handle things with relative ease if and when stress pops up. It just felt right to come here today and let all of you know what was on my mind, how much you matter, and how much I always appreciate your being here.
The change in the weather as the season shifts from Summer to Fall is one that I welcome each year. There is something about the crisp coolness of the air, the changing colors of foliage, and the unique smell which only comes with around this time of year. As with every big weather change however, there is a downside for me, and that is a temporary increase in pain and fatigue levels. Knowing that Fall is arriving makes it easier for me to ride out the physical symptoms.
I’ve written before about the fact that I have been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome (which has been renamed) and fibromyalgia as well as spine and nerve problems due to a car accident and autoimmune issues. I do not define myself by the conditions that I have. The reality is that I do have to live and work around and with these conditions and the many symptoms which come along with them. It took me a while to learn to work with myself instead of against myself when it comes to this. Now, I’m a little older and I’d like to think a little wiser, so I no longer think myself overly weak when I need to stop and take care of myself.
The trait of being Highly Sensitive, which is a term coined by Elaine Aron, who has studied and written extensively about this group of people which makes up about 20% of the population, while not related to my conditions, definitely makes self care even more important. You can find all kinds of helpful information on her site. Not long ago, I began thinking about how overwhelm can feel in my physical body as a highly sensitive person, and realized that when I’m feeling really fried, that it either feels very similar to a flare up of my conditions or actually triggers one. I recently attended an online “Soul Party” as part of Jodi Chapman’s Soulful Life Sanctuary, and the topic of this month’s party was being highly sensitive. It was such a warm and positive experience…being in a welcoming and safe space to talk about this trait with others who share it! I’ve received many benefits as part of my membership in this wonderful community of people. There’s a lot of comfort, sharing, and learning to be had there. It isn’t a group only for or about high sensitivity…it is for anyone who is looking for support and assistance in connecting more deeply with themselves. Click here to check it out.
It is important to note that according to Elaine Aron, being a highly sensitive person in no way indicates that you are more likely to have one of the conditions listed above, so I am not connecting the two. Rather, I am talking about my own life experience of having these conditions as a highly sensitive person. As Elaine Aron states on her site in article, it is important for HSPs to take care not to be over stressed or stimulated in order to minimize susceptibility to illnesses such as the ones listed above. Avoiding those things are crucial to a comfortable level of functioning for an HSP, regardless of whether the person has a health condition.
Okay, now that all of that is out of the way I will get to the actual point of the post…which is the physical human experience. I used to buck against the reality of my body and this attitude caused me to take actions which exacerbated things and stood in the way of my happiness and success. While I am still taking actions to minimize the intensity of my symptoms…I am no longer pushing myself to the point of injuring my body, spirit, and psyche. I am learning to live within the scope of what works for me, so that I can thrive…as myself.
Letting go of the preconceived notion of what success “should” look like has been such a help. This is true for everyone…not just someone who has a health condition or who is a highly sensitive person…everyone! We all bring our own unique gifts and qualities to the table, and frankly, the world needs all of them. Some of us bring physical strength and high energy levels to achieve the things which require those abilities. Others of us bring creativity and sensitivity to the table in order to offer things of that nature to the world. All of these things are important, and it’s time to stop shaming ourselves and one another for not being something that we aren’t…and that we recognize the value of what we each bring into the world.
When allowed to shine, the light of every type of personality, ability, and gift radiates brilliantly out into the world and is a benefit…an asset. I have come to understand that my sensitivity and even my health conditions are a part of my physical human experience. It is because of these things…not despite them…that I am who I am. Some experiences can be difficult, but they also provide great gifts when we allow ourselves to see them. Earlier today, I was talking to someone and said to her that I realized that I came here to have a physical experience and that my job wasn’t to beat myself into perfection…my job is to be me. Her response to me was that all things about me, are a part of the reason why I am able to offer to the world what I came here to offer. Pow!
This article was recently published on “Bad Witches”. Please go visit their website to find all sorts of interesting material.
7 Signs That You Are A Medium
All photos used in this article are from Pixabay and can be seen in the original article on “Bad Witches”.
Being a medium means having the ability to receive messages from spirits from the other side. There are a few different types of medium, the mental medium and the physical medium. A mental medium is one who is able to communicate with spirits or get messages from the other side while they are conscious through various means such as hearing them, seeing mental images, through strong feelings, or other means. A physical medium is one who enters a trance state and permits their physical body to be used by a spirit to communicate a message.
Until a person grows in confidence and knowledge, this gift can be overwhelming at times and even a little frightening for someone without support and encouragement. This article has some very helpful tips for those seeking to find your comfort zone. While having this ability is more accepted than it was even twenty years ago, it still carries a great deal of stigma in some arenas, which can make it very difficult for the young (either in age or ability) medium to understand what is going on with them. Young mediums are often told that they are crazy, or worse, that there is something evil about them.
Since I was a little girl I have been able to sense, hear, and sometimes see spirits. It hasn’t been until the last few years that I have permitted myself to be open to this ability. A big reason why I held back for so long is that I weirded people out, like is discussed here. It is important to me to share what I have experienced and learned for many reasons. One of those reasons is to help other mediums to avoid some of the negative thoughts and emotions which can occur if they are isolated from supportive people or sources of information. Looking back, I can see that there are several signs which can be clear ways to know that you are a medium. I’m including 7 of those reasons here.
1. You get mental images which are later confirmed as having been accurate.
One example of this is if someone is talking to you about a deceased family member and you get a mental flash of what that person looked like without having them described to you. When I was a teenager, someone was telling me stories about what one of their long departed family members was like. A few years later, I was visiting another person and they brought out an old photo album. Low and behold, I recognized one of the photos and asked who it was. When I was told that it was the family member who had been discussed a few years before, you can imagine my surprise, as this was my first validation of information of this nature.
2. Sometimes you can smell fragrances which aren’t actually present.
Have you ever walked into a room and gotten a whiff of perfume or perhaps the smell of a cigarette or cigar and no one else seems to notice it? This has happened to me fairly regularly, and I used to think that maybe I had completely lost my mind. It wasn’t until I was well into my twenties that I realized a relationship between these aromas and spirit. I was visiting a friend and got the distinct smell of a strong cigar. When I asked her about it, she said that no one in her house smoked. She went on to say that she found it interesting that I smelled cigars, because she had been thinking about and missing her grandfather, who had smoked cigars. Since then, I have had several confirmations of aromas in places or around people which are familiar to someone that they loved who has crossed over.
3. You feel like the air is suddenly full of energy, and then mentally hear a message.
This is one of those signs which can really make you question your sanity before you learn to understand what is happening. An example of how this has manifested in my own experience was on an occasion that I was standing at the sink washing dishes with someone. All of a sudden, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up like they do in an electrical storm. Then I heard this male voice telling me to mention doe eyes. This was the first time in my life that I actually heeded and mentioned it, and I know that the only reason that I did so was that the person standing next to me was someone who I felt safe to do something like that with. So, I asked her what doe eyes meant to her. She got very still for a moment and told me that an old boyfriend of hers used to call her that. There were other people around, so we decided to take a ride to the store in order to talk more privately. She asked if she could turn on the radio until she was ready to talk about him, and I agreed. An old song from the 70’s came on and she began to cry. When I asked her what was wrong, she explained that this was “their” song. This was her cue to explain to me that this man that she had dated long ago, had passed young from cancer. To this day I don’t always relay messages that come to me, frankly because I am still not completely sure if it is always a good idea. For now, I trust that spirit and my guides will compel me to speak up when it is something which needs to happen.
4. Seeing things move out of the corner of your eye is a common occurrence for you.
Many people have experienced seeing something move out of the corner of their eye, only to turn and find that nothing is there. For mediums, this can be a more regular phenomenon than for the average person. For spirits, showing themselves physically requires a good amount of energy. One of the ways in which they get our attention can be to appear. When you see something move out of the corner of your eye, try to hone in on shape if you can. I would also recommend that you allow yourself to stop for a moment and get a feel for what else is happening or what you might sense.
5. Walking into some places causes you to feel different.
For a medium, this doesn’t happen just anywhere. There are places into which a medium can walk and feel that the energy or the temperature has changed. You might feel a heaviness, heat, cold, or other sensations and even emotions. Sometimes you might get a headache which you can read about here. This can be disconcerting, even after you are accustomed to your gift, but especially in the beginning. Spirits just like everything else in the universe are composed of energy. For someone who is sensitive, these energy shifts can be very palpable. Pay attention to your feelings and see if you can gather any more information about what is happening there. Listen to your gut too. If you feel threatened or as though you should leave, do not hesitate to heed your intuition.
6. Are you afraid of the dark?
Many mediums have had a fear of the dark at one point or another in their lives. Okay, many children have a fear of the dark. The reasons for this fear however, are different for someone who is a medium. Many mediums will have experiences during the night as children in which spirits will try to communicate with them. It is scary for a young child who hasn’t had guidance about these things to have people coming into their room at night. It isn’t necessarily that the spirits are trying to scare the child (most of them anyway), it is that they are attracted to those whom they know can see or communicate with them. I’m not ashamed to admit that I have slept with a light on for most of my life. It wasn’t until I tried an experiment of taking a shower in the dark that I understood my long held fear.
7. Electronics have a tendency to go out or act funny when you are around.
This has been known to happen around mediums. One explanation that I can come up with is the increased amount of energy present when spirits are around. Another possible reason for this is the theory that spirits sometimes gather energy from electrical items in order to have more strength to manifest or communicate.
About the Author
Tracy Moore is a woman with a lifelong love of all things creative who wears many hats including artist, poet, and writer. She is also a gifted intuitive who uses many different tools to assist others in healing themselves from the inside out and to tap into their personal power. Even though she has a dark and mysterious side, when things get too heavy she channels her inner pixie and brightens the room by filling the air with glitter and laughter.
You can check out her website here where she posts a little bit of everything; ranging from short articles encouraging people to tap into their personal power, mini-workshops on subjects such as meditation and crystals, poetry, fiction, some of her artwork, and information on getting a reading or intuitive services.