5 Ways To Navigate As A Sensitive

When writing about this topic, I rewrote the title and first few lines many times in order to convey exactly what is on my mind. There are many of us who are very sensitive, and this makes navigating the waters of our society a little tricky at times. Below I will be making a list of what life is like for sensitives and how they can make it through life a little more comfortably. Maybe this post will even help those who have relationships with sensitives understand us better.

  1. Sensitives pick up on cues and feelings fairly easily. Once they know that something makes another person feel bad or stressed, they will do their best to avoid doing or saying what it is that causes the other person discomfort. This is one of the reasons why people like talking with us so much. It is okay to let go of guilt when you need to withdraw from some people who continue to engage in certain things despite repeated attempts at asking them to stop. In addition, it is okay to take a stand and/or to withdraw when someone tries to make you feel bad for asking for what you need or for voicing your feelings. It doesn’t make you less loving when you practice self-care and preservation.
  2. Sensitives care about those they love very deeply. They literally feel the pain of those that matter to them, making them feel terrible when there is nothing that they can do to help. When their friend suffers heartbreak, the sensitive feels it right along with them. When someone they care about is going through a rough spot, the sensitive feels the stress right along with them. Often, a sensitive person will not ask for help because they do not wish to cause stress for the people they care about. When a sensitive is asked for help by someone who they care about, it is painful for them to have to deny the request. Often, a sensitive will try to explain how much they hate it that they cannot help and ask for understanding.¬†When this understanding isn’t given, the sensitive becomes stressed to the max and experiences pain that the person doesn’t seem to be respectful of them. This can sometimes lead to the sensitive needing to withdraw, because the amount of stress and heartache takes a physical toll.
  3. Sensitives can come across as indecisive due to the amount of time it takes to make a decision. When someone with a lesser degree of sensitivity is asked what they would like to do, they are often much quicker at answering. It isn’t that a sensitive is trying to be difficult by taking longer. It is that they are picking up on subtle cues and attempting to figure out which option would make everyone involved the happiest. When a less sensitive person gets annoyed with them for how long it is taking, the sensitive will often shut down because they feel badly that their attempt to make sure everyone was happy made someone upset. Sensitives will need to toy around with ways which will lessen the amount of time it takes to decide while still letting them feel good about their choices. In addition, they should understand that there is nothing wrong with the way that they are, and that they shouldn’t be subjected to mean-spirited ridicule or unkindness.
  4. Sensitives tend to be intuitive and compassionate. This often leads to others desiring to speak with their sensitive friends about their problems. At the same time, the sensitive can get burned out because of the depth and intensity of their feelings. Not only that, but people get so accustomed to speaking with the sensitive about their difficulties that relationships can slide into unhealthy patterns. There are people out there who will take advantage of the sensitive because they feel the need to have attention. This leads to the sensitive always being the listener or rescuer. Over time, the sensitive feels drained and realizes that things are imbalanced. They will often try to even out the scales and salvage the relationship. Sometimes this is successful, which is the desirable outcome. Oftentimes, it isn’t possible to balance things out. In these cases, the sensitive needs to understand that they aren’t doing anything wrong by pulling away. It is possible to still love and care for someone deeply, even when that person cannot be part of your life on a regular basis, or perhaps not at all.
  5. Sensitives need more time and space than many others do. Due to the intensity of their feelings and the impact of interacting with others (even when it’s good), the sensitive needs time to recharge their batteries a bit before joining the world again. For those less sensitive, this can feel like the sensitive is ignoring them or doesn’t care. The sensitive should to try to explain this at least once or twice. Many people, while they won’t be able to relate, will understand that you genuinely care about them. Some will not understand or care to try, which may lead to an end of the relationship. Sensitives should remember that they didn’t do anything wrong by simply being themselves, and that while they may spend less time with friends than many do, that their levels of compassion and caring make them desirable and worthy of friendship.
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This Week’s #Vlog

One of Those Days

Nope, not one of those days-I’m having one of the kind of days that could easily be spent doing little more than lying in the window watching it rain while sighing wistfully as “Big Jet Plane” plays softly. The pull to stay in bed in my pajamas clutching a mug of coffee so strong that I even jumped off the prompt train for NaPoWriMo today and mused about doing just what I’m (still) doing. It’s the perfect day for it-quiet, misty, and the xx Radio channel on Pandora. What more can a girl ask for on some days?

There are tasks waiting for me out in the living room/office/art studio, but for now I can’t be bothered to move. Only problem is that my mug is empty and my robot servant is in the shop. Confession time, the draw of the coffee aroma overpowered me. Fear not, I’m ensconced back in my lovely nest. Later this afternoon I’m allowing a friend to tempt me out of my pajamas to go to a salt cave-ahh-if you’ve never tried it and there’s one near you, I highly recommend it. Now, I think it’s time to get to the point of this post, lest you think I’ve slid down the slope of complete narcissism.

There are times when days like this are not only enjoyable, but necessary. When we’ve been pushing too hard for too long, in times of high stress, when the creative mind is asking for new inspiration, and countless other reasons including just because-the nicest thing that we can do for ourselves is to take a time out. It’s good for the body, mind, and spirit. For some, this is hard to do for various reasons ranging from kids to the drive to always be productive. Yet, carving out blocks of time dedicated to the fine art of doing jack shit is crucial to well being.

For those of you out there who are creative types like myself, I’m sure that you understand the necessity more than others. Plus, my friends with chronic illnesses will also understand. Those of us with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME and other conditions such as autoimmune issues or others, no matter what they are, have to have our me time or the well runs completely dry, and it isn’t pretty.

I decided to write about this today because I am taking a time out before I am forced to. After all these years, I’m learning to listen to what my body and spirit need before it gets to the point that I have no choice. While mastering this is not something that I can claim yet, I’m getting better at it and I wish to encourage others to allow themselves to take care of themselves without guilt.

This part is a note to those of you with conditions. Never, ever feel inferior, or like you are less than anyone else for tending to your needs, or sometimes having no choice but to stay on the couch all day because you are in a flare up or have overdone it. There’s no shame in this, no matter how hard the world works to convince us otherwise. You still have so much to offer to the world right from where you are. Even on days when you are back on the couch, you are still important to this world-you matter. When you feel like you aren’t offering anything to anyone (trust me I’ve been there), jump onto an online petition site and find some good causes to support. It takes seconds and doesn’t cost a thing. Take a moment to compliment a friend for something on social media. You never know, they could be having a complete crap day and your kindness could be the thing that pulls them back up from the dark places that we can go to sometimes. I know that there are days when even that is too much energy to muster. On those days, send a prayer or energy or good thoughts (whatever you call it) into the Universe for those who need it or for the planet-whatever you choose. It matters.

For my fellow creatives-don’t you feel guilty either. This world of ours needs more beauty and inspiration. For you to take the time that you need to have a conversation with your muse is to benefit more than just yourself. No matter your form of creativity-art, music, the written word-understand that there is power in it. Power to touch lives, lift hearts, to help people know that others relate to their feelings through your own expressions-how can you not see the value in that? Helping someone else to feel that they aren’t alone or a misfit or perhaps bringing a smile to their lips is a real gift. Since the beginning of time humanity has connected through the arts, even when they were nothing more than cave drawings (which are awesome by the way).

My friends, won’t you join me soon in having one of those days? Trust me, you’ll like it here.