Glimpse Into My Day

Today has been a wonderful day of happy surprises and beautiful things. First and foremost, my best friend from way back in the fifth grade is having a VERY special day today and I couldn’t be more tickled. Only thing that would have made it better would be if I could have been there .

Before my day got started I had a few conversations with friends both old and new, as well as getting to hear a voice that always makes me smile while having coffee.

My day is being spent gloriously happy. I’m editing my poetry book.

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I got an early delivery of a massive amount of acrylic paint to further explore my newfound painting method, which someone was sweet enough to surprise me with. I have more paint sitting here which was gifted to me by my sister, but I won’t be unboxing that until she is here visiting. Can’t wait to see them! Last night I came across a fantastic sale on canvases and ordered a batch of 20- 16×20″. So, be prepared to see a lot of new art posts in the near future.

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Last but not least, I ordered some flowers last week from a local florist and she called to let me know that they were in. I’ve been craving a big bouquet of peonies and hydrangeas for the past few years and decided to treat myself.

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Now that I’ve gotten all of the deliveries in the door, it’s time to get back to editing. Just thought I’d share a glimpse of my day with all of you. Hope that you are having some happy moments of your own today.

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Living A Heartful Life

When thinking of a word which would best describe what I’d like to convey this week, the word heartful came to mind. The definition of the word is: full of heartfelt emotion or to have a connection to the heart. Over the last while, thoughts of what materials go into building our best lives have been flitting around in my mind a great deal. While I could go on about all of the things that I’ve tried, read, experimented with, meditated on and worked through in my questioning-there’s really no need, as the answer is simple.

When it comes to what goes into building the best lives that we can for ourselves, the answers lie within the heart. The old saying about productivity-if it feels like work, you’re doing it wrong-is true across the board. Finding the right balance can feel a bit tricky at times as we all have responsibilities, needs, dreams and goals. At times it seems as though living from the heart is counter-intuitive when it comes to meeting responsibilities. Nothing could be further from the truth.

This isn’t to say that I recommend throwing all caution and responsibility to the wind to your detriment. I do recommend though, making sure that we are doing something each and every day to shift our lives toward as seamless a transition between our work and play lives as possible. As doing this isn’t something which most of us are taught or encouraged to do, you can expect a a few growing pains along the way as you move closer to living a life of joy and fulfillment. You may encounter feelings of uncertainty within yourself, disapproval or criticism from others or possibly some of both as you move forward.

The hows and whats of what a heartful life looks like is completely up to you. For all of us though, the simple question which leads us there is the same. Not only is the primary question the same for all of us, asking and answering it of ourselves often will never fail to keep us on the right track.

Are the things that you are spending the majority of your thoughts and time on things which have the capacity to connect all of the elements of your life with a thread of joy?

 

Letting Go…Moving Forward

The most difficult thing about this post for me will be keeping it short enough to be readable. What I am about to say here is a culmination of a few years worth of stuff. While it hasn’t all been bad, there have been several earthshaking events going on. Between illnesses of my own and some downright scary bad ones happening to people that I love…heart attacks, bypass surgeries, cancer, and deaths, it has been hard enough. In addition to what I’ve already listed I had a several year relationship come to a slow and painful halt, fell and dislocated a shoulder, broke a toe, been betrayed by what I thought were friends, and other things which were minor in comparison.

My best friend and partner in the Sisters In The Shadows project, who has had her own fair share of stuff, and I have been trying for well over a year to get our endeavor off the ground and we are slowly getting there. We released our first video call not long ago and have been brainstorming about the direction that we want to take things. In addition to this I’ve been having a little trouble maintaining balance with all of my other projects too…in the midst of all this other stuff. It hasn’t been easy. There have been times when I have felt my tenuous grip on sanity slipping. About a month ago, a friend and his wife came by and he gave me a reading. The reading indicated that the next few months would be difficult…wow, that’s no joke. The good part is that the reading showed things headed in a much better direction after this rough patch and I choose to believe that the good part is also true.

Tomorrow is a super event with the solstice, new moon, solar eclipse, and the sun moving into Aries tomorrow…the universe is packing a major power punch. I am beyond ready to work with it. Over the past few days I have been reading a great deal and watched a particularly great video which Tabitha sent to me. First though, I got an update from Raven Sinclaire who is someone who I haven’t met in person yet but lives here in Asheville. She does wonderful shamanic work and just seems like a cool person, and she was talking about our deep and dark parts coming out to be healed…as well as how difficulty leads to great change. She is right and her timing is perfect. She is offering a free 3 month Shamanic healing journey which begins in May. Click on her name above to go check it out.  Someday my goal is to work with her in person, but this free opportunity right now is so very appreciated!

Okay, now for the video that Tabitha sent along. It too is by someone here in Asheville who I haven’t met in person but I have seen her artwork (which I loved). Hali Karla interviewed Jamie Ridler of Jamie Ridler Studios in one of her Holistic Creative Chats, and asked what her creative practice was looking like in this season of her life. The answer that Jamie gave resonated with me so strongly that I am still vibrating! She talked about how showing up creatively every day, not having a narrow focus, and living joyfully was where she was at. What struck me so profoundly was how she discussed how she had felt pressure to pick a focus, both from others and in return from herself. Oh my do I get it! Should I focus on writing? Art? Sisters? A combination?

You feel guilty for letting something sit while you work on something else. You feel like you aren’t getting anything done. Nothing is further from the truth and I demonstrated this to myself just last week. Someone asked me what I had been doing and I was sitting here thinking, wow…I am going to sound so lame because I haven’t done anything. Then I began listing what I had been up to…and it was so far from nothing. I loved how Jamie said that she was never going to be that single purposed person. Creativity is what matters. So yes, I can be all of the things that I love. The trick is to show up with passion. I had sort of lost that, but it has been bubbling back up to the surface. Hence the title of this post…letting go, moving forward…

All of the bad, hard, ugly shit of the past few years has been necessary to progress in many ways. To realize what matters to me. To know myself better. To get to this place within myself where I do not feel like I have to pick one thing. To not feel like I owe any explanations to anyone. To be getting my happy back…even in the midst of hard times. I had lost my passion for things…but was managing to keep showing up, even if not as often as I liked. Now though, I find the music coming back into my space…the joy and excitement for my work…new ideas forming. I am feeling excited about jumping in happily and letting the ideas flow.

I have a few class ideas already in the works for Sisters and here, I have a vision with many of my WIP paintings, and I have also opened things back up for readings which you can check out here on my readings page or over at Sisters where you can work with me alone, or with me and Tabitha in tandem, and you can also learn about working with her alone too. I’ll be dusting off my writing projects. The beautiful part of all of this is that I am not making promises or timelines. When I get up tomorrow I will go where the muse takes me. That is not lacking discipline as I had previously thought…I just have to keep doing the work. Tomorrow, I will be taking the opportunity of honing in on all of this and setting intentions to get the flow opened back up…better than ever.

 

 

Putting The Pieces Together

It’s that time again…the time of the full moon. A time for reflecting, dreaming, planning, creating…conjuring. This month’s moon is a great one to focus on making your dreams come true.  As I do most months, I have done a collage and will share it below. I’ve been struggling lately with the concept of having time to fully pursue my dreams and have a relationship. It takes a lot of energy to do the work that I am doing, and no, that isn’t a complaint. I love every minute of it. It’s just that I have been putting myself out there in the dating world a little and find it difficult to balance things. Especially as I have limited amounts of energy to expend.

So, for this full moon I did a reading for myself and simply asked if I should strictly devote myself to my work. Well…the reading got to the secret heart of my question…which was if I would be able to include romance into my life and still live my dream. Yes, it appears that I can have both. I just need to trust…let go of my worries…and surrender to the fact that I just need to be, without so many expectations. And of the six cards that I drew, two of them were about love of the romantic variety. How about that?

One of the most difficult things for many of us to do it to let go of our expectations…really to get out of our own way…and simply be. If the right person comes along, I’ll know it…because they will fit into my life and vice versa. Yes, that is simplifying but really it is true…the perfect partner for any of us is one with whom we are not only just ourselves, but our best selves. For me, it means finding that someone with whom there is mutual understanding and support. On my end it is my need to create…my need for that space…respect for who I am and what I do. It isn’t that I do not have time for a relationship…it is that I only have time for the right one. The quote about finding people who are your kind of crazy sums it up nicely for me.

What dreams are you focusing on?

And now for this month’s full moon collage:

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