Glimpse Into My Day

Today has been a wonderful day of happy surprises and beautiful things. First and foremost, my best friend from way back in the fifth grade is having a VERY special day today and I couldn’t be more tickled. Only thing that would have made it better would be if I could have been there .

Before my day got started I had a few conversations with friends both old and new, as well as getting to hear a voice that always makes me smile while having coffee.

My day is being spent gloriously happy. I’m editing my poetry book.

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I got an early delivery of a massive amount of acrylic paint to further explore my newfound painting method, which someone was sweet enough to surprise me with. I have more paint sitting here which was gifted to me by my sister, but I won’t be unboxing that until she is here visiting. Can’t wait to see them! Last night I came across a fantastic sale on canvases and ordered a batch of 20- 16×20″. So, be prepared to see a lot of new art posts in the near future.

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Last but not least, I ordered some flowers last week from a local florist and she called to let me know that they were in. I’ve been craving a big bouquet of peonies and hydrangeas for the past few years and decided to treat myself.

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Now that I’ve gotten all of the deliveries in the door, it’s time to get back to editing. Just thought I’d share a glimpse of my day with all of you. Hope that you are having some happy moments of your own today.

Love Letter ~ Sitting With It

Dear beautiful souls,

There are times in each of our lives in which we simply do not know which direction to turn. There could be any number of situations that leave us feeling this way. Sometimes the only thing which we can do is to simply sit with it. There are times in which continuing to search for a solution or answer just deepens the feelings of confusion or frustration.

While it isn’t as though we can entirely forget about things which may be troubling us, we can find a space of relative peace in which we play the role of the observer, allowing things to play out for a while. Being the observer when things aren’t exactly going according to plan is definitely a learned skill, and it isn’t even as though once it is learned that it is forever automatic.

Our humanity, and the nature of life, with all of its cycles…and ups and downs, make the role of observer more of a practice than a learned skill. While it gets easier to bring things into that space with time, please do not feel as though you are doing something wrong if it sometimes takes a while to reign in the fear, anger, or other feelings which are part of our existence. Taking up the practice of observing is one which can be entered into by anyone, no matter what their belief system (or lack thereof).

Whether you believe in higher beings, universal energy, or just follow the natural order of life-one thing is certain. In time the answer, way out, way up, or solution always becomes apparent. And, sometimes it is when we sit back for a little while and observe that the greatest milestones in our lives happen. Call it a trust in the power that is, or simply a practical knowledge of the inevitability of change. Either way you slice it, there is a certain type of tranquility which comes with simply being for a while. It isn’t the same thing as resignation. It is a deep wisdom which comes with the understanding that we do not always have an immediate solution…that sometimes things have to run their course for a while.

Sometimes the best thing that we can do for ourselves is take a deep breath, take a nap, take a walk, and let whatever the issue is fade into the background for a while. In the time between dissatisfaction and improvement, there is still a life to be lived and believe it or not, much to appreciate. Be gentle, don’t force it, don’t beat yourself up. Sit with things for a while.

Much love,

Tracy

Love Letter ~ Love All Of You, Yes…All

Dear beautiful souls,

We all have parts of ourselves which feel more difficult to love than others. Today, I’m going to share with you one of the parts of myself which used to be my touchiest subject. Since I was a young child, I’ve been able to see and communicate with the dead. Not only that, but I’ve always known things that I’ve had no way of knowing. In my house, this was not cool. In my community, this was not cool. In my parent’s religion this was definitely not cool. It didn’t take long for me to learn to fear and loathe this part of myself. There was no support. I’m not telling you this in order to elicit pity. Those early trials have made coming to acceptance and love of this part of myself all the sweeter.

Over the years, the negative feelings which I had around that part of myself led to many different types of manifestations…psychological, emotional, and physical. By the time I finally realized that I could examine this aspect of me for myself, instead of going by everyone else’s word for it, a lot of damage had been done. My self-esteem was very low, I lived in a lot of fear because try as I might, I couldn’t just turn it off completely, and my immune system and weight were not in a good place due to all the stress. As a matter of fact, I’m still working on the repair aspect after almost four decades of imbalance.

So, what led me to seeing things for myself? After many years, I was able to turn around and look at all of the people who had told me how “bad” this part of me was. Let me tell you, they were no role models. I’m not saying that they were all horrible people. It’s just that all of them had their own stuff and some of it was way more damning than my stuff. Nope, this isn’t about judgement of them either. That phase is also in the past. Admittedly, I carried some anger around for a while. At the same time I was able to look objectively at that particular aspect of myself and see it for what it really is, a gift.

The best advice that I can give to any of you who are on the road to loving all of yourselves is this…begin to think for yourself. Ask yourself how YOU really feel about that part of you. At first it might be easier to ask how you would see someone else who shared that particular trait or aspect with you. It is my best guess that most of you will say that you’d accept whatever it is in someone else with no questions, or at least without harsh judgement. See what happened there? You’re no different. Begin to see yourself through the lenses of your own eyes. Let others worry about their own views.

Of course, if you find after very careful examination that there is a part of you which doesn’t fit with who you really are and who you aspire to be, you can begin to do something about it. Something which doesn’t involve hate or blame. Love that part of yourself and thank it for its lessons, then begin to shift more in the direction of who you truly are and what values you wish to embrace. There’s no need for judgement. It only keeps you low for longer than you need to be.

Love yourselves with all you’ve got. You are the only you that will ever be…and you are amazing!

Much love,

Tracy