Love Letter ~ Keep Holding On

Dear Beautiful People,

It has been a little while since I’ve sat down to write something from my heart to yours. Today feels like a good day to do that. We are living in interesting times, and sometimes it seems as though things are spinning out of control. Even though I rarely read news headlines, let alone watch any news, it is impossible not to notice the things that are going on around us. We are in a period of rapid changes, not only in my part of the world…but in all of it. Yes, sometimes it feels scary or as though there is little hope.

I’m here to ask all of you not to give in to the fear and darkness mentality which seems to be in charge right now. Now more than ever, we must remember that no one can control our mentality but ourselves. Of course we see the worst and most frightening things portrayed in the media. First of all, that’s what sells. Secondly, it has been true for a few thousand years on this Earth and perhaps longer, that those in power, or wishing to be in power often create and maintain those positions by scaring the pants off of the rest of us. Don’t buy into it.

While it is true that we live in tumultuous times, it is also true that old systems and ways of being or thinking have to go through upheaval before things get better. Those who have read some of my older work know that I am not going to try to tell you that you need to smile your way through this. Now is the time to look at the dark and the light in both the world and in ourselves so that we can understand that duality is a part of the very nature of things.

When we learn to look at and accept our duality and all of our feelings as part of ourselves, that’s when the magic of real self love can begin. There’s a difference between acceptance and allowing something to take over. It’s a matter of being able to look at and see the un-shiny parts of ourselves with a spirit of kindness and understanding. When we repress those parts of ourselves with a fake smile plastered on our faces, we aren’t fully loving ourselves and therefore nothing can change.The pattern keeps repeating. How do I know this?  Because that was me, for a very long time.

Many of us are taught by our families, our religions, our teachers, etc. that expressing or even acknowledging feelings like fear, anger, or disappointment is akin to dimming the light which shines in all of us. The opposite is true. When we feel ourselves sliding into fear or anger, the best thing that we can do is to basically look at it and say, “I see you. I feel you”…acknowledge that it is part of our nature to feel those things and accept that just because we feel certain feelings we are not “bad” people.

As for what is going on in the world around us, the same can be said. We can see it, we can acknowledge that it is happening, and then we can understand deep in our very core that those things do not define us. Now more than ever, we have the opportunity to see how much power we have when it comes to creating our own realities. Sometimes, all we can do is stop…and simply be…riding the waves to the best of our abilities until the tide changes.

There is only so much digging and self excavation that we can do. While I highly encourage self examination, I believe that there is a fine line between examination and perpetuating a sense that there is something wrong with us. If something doesn’t feel right, instead of pointing a finger at yourself or someone else in blame…look for what you can do to either release it or change it. When thinking about the duality of our world and ourselves I always think of the parable of the two wolves. In case you haven’t heard of it, you can go here for a snippet.

So, all of you lovelies…be kind to yourselves. Love yourselves. Love each other. Love the beautiful world that we live on. Remember this~ Love is the fuel of great change.

Thank you for being here!

Much love to all of you,

Tracy

 

 

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So Much Goodness

For a long while, I had been posting Angel cards on Wednesdays. I’ve decided to change things up and just come here and pour out a little of my heart and soul instead. I’m not sure if I’ll be bringing the cards back, but I will say that at this point it isn’t my intention. I’ve missed showing up and just chatting about the things that matter. So, for the time being that’s what Wednesdays will be for. It’s hard to tell what will bubble to the surface, so I hope that you’ll stick around and join in.

Today just feels like a good day to think about the good things in life. In this time of shifting, social unrest, and what can only be described as upheaval, it can sometimes feel as though there is little hope and kindness in the world. There are times in which I briefly feel that way, and then something happens to remind me of how much love there is around me. My family isn’t a large one, but the few that I have make up for size with true love and acceptance. My friends may be few, but those that I have are not just acquaintances, they are part of my family.

In addition to the wonderful people in my life, there are a lot of good things happening on a personal level. Things which excite me. Things which bring me joy. My editor Melissa Scott and I have finally put my novel to bed. She was a joy to work with, and I couldn’t be happier with the end result. It feels so good to see this project completed. The next step is to put together a kick ass query package to send off to an agent this week. I have one who is interested in the concept, which is a great first step. The momentum is in high gear.

In addition to all of the above, I’ve recently taken huge measures to take control of my health and the inflammation in my body. I kept getting nudges to go vegan…at least for a while. I had been vegan for a few weeks last year before my father’s passing. It seemed to be agreeing with me, but honestly after the events of that time, I kinda just didn’t care for a while about much of anything. Anyway, fast forward to a little over a year later…the nudges kept getting stronger and stronger. There was even a dream in which a male voice said loud and clear, “If you want to heal and survive you will go vegan.”

Well, there was no more ignoring all of the nudges after that. So, as of today I’ve been vegan for almost 4 weeks. So far, it is agreeing with me. My levels of inflammation and overall pain are slowly decreasing, my skin has cleared up to the point that I no longer need to use my topical cream for rosacea, my mind feels clearer, and I’m losing some weight. It’s hard to tell how things will go in the long term with all of this, but as of this moment in time, I feel grateful that I am doing what I’m doing because it is making me feel better. This is not a moral or political statement. It is about me, taking measures to help my body to heal.

The whole point of this post is that even in the midst of chaos, there are good things and people to be found and remembered. These are the things which keep us going each day. In every life, there are regular occurrences of difficulty and stress to some extent. Impermanence is one of the things which I am in total agreement with Buddhism about. Here are two of my favorite quotes on the subject:

Life is fragile, like the dew hanging delicately on the grass, crystal drops that will be carried away on the first morning breeze. – Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

Impermanence is a principle of harmony. When we don’t struggle against it, we are in harmony with reality. – Pema Chodron

While we walk the face of this earth, there will be challenges. In the midst of them however, there is still good. Remembering how transient the events in our lives are is so good for the heart and soul. It is in the certainty of the temporary nature of things that we can find so much comfort, especially in times of difficulty.

Blissfully Imperfect

This post is a little different from the typical Monday posts in that I usually write about topics which are meant to inspire all of us to do our best. Today I wish to talk about all of the things about myself which aren’t exactly my finer traits, but that I’ve learned to accept. Why? Because sometimes we get so caught up in our quest to be as close to perfect as we can get, or seeming to have our shit somewhat together, that we forget about or gloss over the things that make us human.

So, I’m going to list some of the things about me that I do not usually talk about. The things which sometimes embarrass me, sometimes make me laugh, and even some which while not the best traits make me feel better at times. These are all parts of me that I am unapologetic for, even though some of them are things I work on improving. The only time that apologies are called for, in my opinion, is when we lash out in anger in such a way that it truly hurts another. Alright, the dirt on me…

Here goes!

  • I can be very stubborn
  • At times, my temper runs pretty hot
  • When I decide I’m well and truly done with something or someone, it’s over (and when that happens, I rarely change my mind)
  • Sometimes my sense of humor is on the inappropriate side
  • I’ve been known to change my mind more often than some people change their socks (It was said to me using those exact words once)
  • I’ve also been known to have really awful taste in romantic partners in the past
  • Patience is not one of my strongest suits
  • My language is far from rated G (thanks mom)
  • I’m protective of those I love, and will not hesitate to defend them
  • When my heart gets broken, it takes a long time for me to trust again
  • I do not handle confrontation well
  • I definitely do not handle illnesses and deaths of people I love well
  • While I’m pretty forgiving, heaven help you if you lie to me

As you can see, some of my less shiny attributes are pretty tarnished indeed. At the same time many of them have served me well, especially once I learned to channel them properly. We’re all works in progress, and sometimes it feels good to admit it. The entire point of this exercise was to remind both myself and hopefully all of you that while striving for betterment is a great thing that we are all human and sometimes it is in these human moments that we find our strength-or at least laughter.