Glimpse Into My Day

Today has been a wonderful day of happy surprises and beautiful things. First and foremost, my best friend from way back in the fifth grade is having a VERY special day today and I couldn’t be more tickled. Only thing that would have made it better would be if I could have been there .

Before my day got started I had a few conversations with friends both old and new, as well as getting to hear a voice that always makes me smile while having coffee.

My day is being spent gloriously happy. I’m editing my poetry book.

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I got an early delivery of a massive amount of acrylic paint to further explore my newfound painting method, which someone was sweet enough to surprise me with. I have more paint sitting here which was gifted to me by my sister, but I won’t be unboxing that until she is here visiting. Can’t wait to see them! Last night I came across a fantastic sale on canvases and ordered a batch of 20- 16×20″. So, be prepared to see a lot of new art posts in the near future.

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Last but not least, I ordered some flowers last week from a local florist and she called to let me know that they were in. I’ve been craving a big bouquet of peonies and hydrangeas for the past few years and decided to treat myself.

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Now that I’ve gotten all of the deliveries in the door, it’s time to get back to editing. Just thought I’d share a glimpse of my day with all of you. Hope that you are having some happy moments of your own today.

One of Those Days

Nope, not one of those days-I’m having one of the kind of days that could easily be spent doing little more than lying in the window watching it rain while sighing wistfully as “Big Jet Plane” plays softly. The pull to stay in bed in my pajamas clutching a mug of coffee so strong that I even jumped off the prompt train for NaPoWriMo today and mused about doing just what I’m (still) doing. It’s the perfect day for it-quiet, misty, and the xx Radio channel on Pandora. What more can a girl ask for on some days?

There are tasks waiting for me out in the living room/office/art studio, but for now I can’t be bothered to move. Only problem is that my mug is empty and my robot servant is in the shop. Confession time, the draw of the coffee aroma overpowered me. Fear not, I’m ensconced back in my lovely nest. Later this afternoon I’m allowing a friend to tempt me out of my pajamas to go to a salt cave-ahh-if you’ve never tried it and there’s one near you, I highly recommend it. Now, I think it’s time to get to the point of this post, lest you think I’ve slid down the slope of complete narcissism.

There are times when days like this are not only enjoyable, but necessary. When we’ve been pushing too hard for too long, in times of high stress, when the creative mind is asking for new inspiration, and countless other reasons including just because-the nicest thing that we can do for ourselves is to take a time out. It’s good for the body, mind, and spirit. For some, this is hard to do for various reasons ranging from kids to the drive to always be productive. Yet, carving out blocks of time dedicated to the fine art of doing jack shit is crucial to well being.

For those of you out there who are creative types like myself, I’m sure that you understand the necessity more than others. Plus, my friends with chronic illnesses will also understand. Those of us with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME and other conditions such as autoimmune issues or others, no matter what they are, have to have our me time or the well runs completely dry, and it isn’t pretty.

I decided to write about this today because I am taking a time out before I am forced to. After all these years, I’m learning to listen to what my body and spirit need before it gets to the point that I have no choice. While mastering this is not something that I can claim yet, I’m getting better at it and I wish to encourage others to allow themselves to take care of themselves without guilt.

This part is a note to those of you with conditions. Never, ever feel inferior, or like you are less than anyone else for tending to your needs, or sometimes having no choice but to stay on the couch all day because you are in a flare up or have overdone it. There’s no shame in this, no matter how hard the world works to convince us otherwise. You still have so much to offer to the world right from where you are. Even on days when you are back on the couch, you are still important to this world-you matter. When you feel like you aren’t offering anything to anyone (trust me I’ve been there), jump onto an online petition site and find some good causes to support. It takes seconds and doesn’t cost a thing. Take a moment to compliment a friend for something on social media. You never know, they could be having a complete crap day and your kindness could be the thing that pulls them back up from the dark places that we can go to sometimes. I know that there are days when even that is too much energy to muster. On those days, send a prayer or energy or good thoughts (whatever you call it) into the Universe for those who need it or for the planet-whatever you choose. It matters.

For my fellow creatives-don’t you feel guilty either. This world of ours needs more beauty and inspiration. For you to take the time that you need to have a conversation with your muse is to benefit more than just yourself. No matter your form of creativity-art, music, the written word-understand that there is power in it. Power to touch lives, lift hearts, to help people know that others relate to their feelings through your own expressions-how can you not see the value in that? Helping someone else to feel that they aren’t alone or a misfit or perhaps bringing a smile to their lips is a real gift. Since the beginning of time humanity has connected through the arts, even when they were nothing more than cave drawings (which are awesome by the way).

My friends, won’t you join me soon in having one of those days? Trust me, you’ll like it here.

Letting Go…Moving Forward

The most difficult thing about this post for me will be keeping it short enough to be readable. What I am about to say here is a culmination of a few years worth of stuff. While it hasn’t all been bad, there have been several earthshaking events going on. Between illnesses of my own and some downright scary bad ones happening to people that I love…heart attacks, bypass surgeries, cancer, and deaths, it has been hard enough. In addition to what I’ve already listed I had a several year relationship come to a slow and painful halt, fell and dislocated a shoulder, broke a toe, been betrayed by what I thought were friends, and other things which were minor in comparison.

My best friend and partner in the Sisters In The Shadows project, who has had her own fair share of stuff, and I have been trying for well over a year to get our endeavor off the ground and we are slowly getting there. We released our first video call not long ago and have been brainstorming about the direction that we want to take things. In addition to this I’ve been having a little trouble maintaining balance with all of my other projects too…in the midst of all this other stuff. It hasn’t been easy. There have been times when I have felt my tenuous grip on sanity slipping. About a month ago, a friend and his wife came by and he gave me a reading. The reading indicated that the next few months would be difficult…wow, that’s no joke. The good part is that the reading showed things headed in a much better direction after this rough patch and I choose to believe that the good part is also true.

Tomorrow is a super event with the solstice, new moon, solar eclipse, and the sun moving into Aries tomorrow…the universe is packing a major power punch. I am beyond ready to work with it. Over the past few days I have been reading a great deal and watched a particularly great video which Tabitha sent to me. First though, I got an update from Raven Sinclaire who is someone who I haven’t met in person yet but lives here in Asheville. She does wonderful shamanic work and just seems like a cool person, and she was talking about our deep and dark parts coming out to be healed…as well as how difficulty leads to great change. She is right and her timing is perfect. She is offering a free 3 month Shamanic healing journey which begins in May. Click on her name above to go check it out.  Someday my goal is to work with her in person, but this free opportunity right now is so very appreciated!

Okay, now for the video that Tabitha sent along. It too is by someone here in Asheville who I haven’t met in person but I have seen her artwork (which I loved). Hali Karla interviewed Jamie Ridler of Jamie Ridler Studios in one of her Holistic Creative Chats, and asked what her creative practice was looking like in this season of her life. The answer that Jamie gave resonated with me so strongly that I am still vibrating! She talked about how showing up creatively every day, not having a narrow focus, and living joyfully was where she was at. What struck me so profoundly was how she discussed how she had felt pressure to pick a focus, both from others and in return from herself. Oh my do I get it! Should I focus on writing? Art? Sisters? A combination?

You feel guilty for letting something sit while you work on something else. You feel like you aren’t getting anything done. Nothing is further from the truth and I demonstrated this to myself just last week. Someone asked me what I had been doing and I was sitting here thinking, wow…I am going to sound so lame because I haven’t done anything. Then I began listing what I had been up to…and it was so far from nothing. I loved how Jamie said that she was never going to be that single purposed person. Creativity is what matters. So yes, I can be all of the things that I love. The trick is to show up with passion. I had sort of lost that, but it has been bubbling back up to the surface. Hence the title of this post…letting go, moving forward…

All of the bad, hard, ugly shit of the past few years has been necessary to progress in many ways. To realize what matters to me. To know myself better. To get to this place within myself where I do not feel like I have to pick one thing. To not feel like I owe any explanations to anyone. To be getting my happy back…even in the midst of hard times. I had lost my passion for things…but was managing to keep showing up, even if not as often as I liked. Now though, I find the music coming back into my space…the joy and excitement for my work…new ideas forming. I am feeling excited about jumping in happily and letting the ideas flow.

I have a few class ideas already in the works for Sisters and here, I have a vision with many of my WIP paintings, and I have also opened things back up for readings which you can check out here on my readings page or over at Sisters where you can work with me alone, or with me and Tabitha in tandem, and you can also learn about working with her alone too. I’ll be dusting off my writing projects. The beautiful part of all of this is that I am not making promises or timelines. When I get up tomorrow I will go where the muse takes me. That is not lacking discipline as I had previously thought…I just have to keep doing the work. Tomorrow, I will be taking the opportunity of honing in on all of this and setting intentions to get the flow opened back up…better than ever.

 

 

Putting The Pieces Together

It’s that time again…the time of the full moon. A time for reflecting, dreaming, planning, creating…conjuring. This month’s moon is a great one to focus on making your dreams come true.  As I do most months, I have done a collage and will share it below. I’ve been struggling lately with the concept of having time to fully pursue my dreams and have a relationship. It takes a lot of energy to do the work that I am doing, and no, that isn’t a complaint. I love every minute of it. It’s just that I have been putting myself out there in the dating world a little and find it difficult to balance things. Especially as I have limited amounts of energy to expend.

So, for this full moon I did a reading for myself and simply asked if I should strictly devote myself to my work. Well…the reading got to the secret heart of my question…which was if I would be able to include romance into my life and still live my dream. Yes, it appears that I can have both. I just need to trust…let go of my worries…and surrender to the fact that I just need to be, without so many expectations. And of the six cards that I drew, two of them were about love of the romantic variety. How about that?

One of the most difficult things for many of us to do it to let go of our expectations…really to get out of our own way…and simply be. If the right person comes along, I’ll know it…because they will fit into my life and vice versa. Yes, that is simplifying but really it is true…the perfect partner for any of us is one with whom we are not only just ourselves, but our best selves. For me, it means finding that someone with whom there is mutual understanding and support. On my end it is my need to create…my need for that space…respect for who I am and what I do. It isn’t that I do not have time for a relationship…it is that I only have time for the right one. The quote about finding people who are your kind of crazy sums it up nicely for me.

What dreams are you focusing on?

And now for this month’s full moon collage:

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