Poetry ~ Not The Way I Dreamed

Waiting for the anger to kick in so that the pain can recede

Knowing the it will happen sooner or later, but it’s only been two days

Truly not wanting to feel this heartache, but not able to to drown it

No matter how hard I try or wish for it to be that easy

Simply won’t happen yet, and I know that it is as it must be

Begging for a mercy which simply doesn’t exist

There is no way to escape the pain of the loss of love

Of so many unspoken promises, no matter how strongly they were implied

Thinking of him with an entire different life, one which doesn’t include me

At least not in the way in which I had envisioned us being together….fuck, is this real?

Friends once more? I don’t know that I would have the strength for that

As much as I’d like to think that I could be capable of foregoing love

And falling back into friendship, no matter how small it may make me

My heart beats a staccato of hell no, of fuck that, of what the hell for

As much as I crave friendship in my relatively new city, desperation is not that deep.

 

 

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