Flash Fiction ~ Gag Me With A Spoon

Why did it always have to be the nerdiest of the nerds who asked her out? Okay so, she could admit that she was a little on the geeky side, but nothing like the endless stream of dweebs that she seemed to be attracting. She was in the debate club because her dad told her that it would give her good practice for the courtroom when she finally graduated law school and joined his firm.

She also liked being right, and the debate club gave her plenty of opportunities to show just how right she was about most everything. Why though, people assumed that she wanted to date guys from the math and science clubs was beyond her. In her opinion, she was a much better match for the guys on the rugby and football teams. They always went for the dumb, slutty girls though, and she’d sooner jump off a bridge than dumb herself down for a date.

So, here she sat on yet another Friday night keeping her couch warm while she watched Netflix. Unable to take it anymore, she went to her room and got dressed up, determined to go to her favorite club and pick up a guy. She walked up to the bar, on thin high heels, and swung her long legs up onto a stool next to a hot guy. Wearing her one short skirt and low cut shirt, she felt bold and started talking to the man next to her.

This guy was on the rugby team and his body showed it. He smiled at her and offered to pay for her drink. Giving him a big smile, she accepted. As they continued to talk, she couldn’t believe her luck. He seemed interested. Finally though, a tall blonde slinked up to him, throwing her arms around his neck and planting a kiss on him that should have come with a warning label.

Admittedly confused, she was stunned as he introduced her to his girlfriend, who barely acknowledged her. Seeing the look on her face, he told her that he had been thinking that his buddy would like to meet a cool girl like her. Barely unable to contain her excitement, she agreed to meet him. Excusing himself, the guy went outside where it was quiet to call his friend.

When he came back, he explained that his friend didn’t like bars and asked if she’d consider going to his apartment for a cup of coffee. Against her better judgement, she took the address and made her way there. When she knocked on the door, a deep voice from inside called for her to let herself in. Thinking that he needed a few more minutes to get ready, she let herself in and said hello before sitting on the couch.

After a few moments, a door opened and out walked one of the guys from the debate team, who was also in the math club. She was beyond pissed. He sat next to her and told her how long he’d been waiting to get to know her better. He’d asked her out several times, and she’d said no each time. What was with this guy? She asked how she knew the guy from the bar, and he explained that he tutored him. She was trying to think of a way to get out of this gracefully when he stood up and asked her to follow him into the kitchen for coffee.

Watching him as he got the coffee ready she noted how thin and pale he was. Not only that, but his clothing had cheap written all over it. She snapped out of her reverie as he handed her a mug. He smiled at her and told her how beautiful she was. “I promise you that I’m going to make you feel special.”

Was he serious? “Get out of here. How many times do I have to tell you no before you finally get it? I’m not interested.”

He grabbed her arm. She was surprised at how strong he was. Pulling her in for a kiss, he made brief contact before she pushed him away from her. Indignation spread through her like a wildfire. Before she could get a word out, he was grabbing at her again, telling her what he wanted to do with her.

“Gag me with a spoon.”, she said. “You’re gross. I wouldn’t let you touch me with a ten foot pole.”

“As you wish.”, he said as he opened the silverware drawer. Grabbing her again, he took hold of her hair.

The last thing she saw was a shiny spoon, heading toward her face.

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