This post, as many of my posts tend to be, is inspired by my own life. This particular one is based upon things which are going on in my current life as opposed to the past. As those of you who have been following me for a while know, last year and the early part of this year were pretty challenging, emotionally and physically. Things have gotten immensely better emotionally and I’m in a good place there for the most part. The reason I threw that “for the most part” in there is that I am going through some mood swings due to hormonal issues.
Several months ago I was told that a health condition had been caught just in time-before it had a chance to turn cancerous. I’m still so thankful for that. It’s hard for me to find words which would indicate how this news has changed my life in many ways. My levels of patience, inner peace, and ability to see the importance of caring for myself have gone through the roof. Not only that, but it has gotten easier for me to make decisions based upon my own needs and desires without feeling guilty. This has clarified my work and direction. For the first time ever, I actually know what it is that I wish to do, and have been able to narrow things down in a focused and doable way.
As part of the treatment of this medical condition, I just began taking a hormone at the beginning of this month. Let me tell you, the side effects are a little rough. So far I’ve experienced more difficulty sleeping, feeling jittery, some mood swings, cramping, more headaches and other things that I’ll spare you. Every time I begin to think about how yucky I feel at times, I remind myself of how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to have this option before things got out of hand.
Not only that, but when the mood swings set in, another side effect came with them. I gained a greater ability to feel compassionate toward myself. This is a huge blessing. Little by little, I see the unnecessary guilt of the past finally starting to completely melt away. As I go further along on my journey and take the time to be still and listen to my heart, there are doors which had been previously closed in my life opening. One of the most amazing things that I’ve been seeing is that as I learn compassion toward myself, my compassion for others grows.
While my compassion for others may not look the same as it has in the past, it has actually become more complete. It’s amazing that as you start to have compassion toward yourself, it becomes easier when the time comes that you need to release someone or something from your life. Instead of allowing it to get to the point that it happens in anger or resentment, it becomes possible to do so in love or at least neutrally. You also realize that sometimes you are actually doing people more good by stepping back than you would by holding on.
My wish for you is that if you haven’t already, that you too will be able to practice more compassion toward yourself. This seemingly selfish practice is anything but. While it might sound a little out there for some of you, you won’t know until you try it. Ask yourself the following questions. What do you have to lose by giving yourself this gift? What do you possibly have to gain?