The most difficult thing about this post for me will be keeping it short enough to be readable. What I am about to say here is a culmination of a few years worth of stuff. While it hasn’t all been bad, there have been several earthshaking events going on. Between illnesses of my own and some downright scary bad ones happening to people that I love…heart attacks, bypass surgeries, cancer, and deaths, it has been hard enough. In addition to what I’ve already listed I had a several year relationship come to a slow and painful halt, fell and dislocated a shoulder, broke a toe, been betrayed by what I thought were friends, and other things which were minor in comparison.
My best friend and partner in the Sisters In The Shadows project, who has had her own fair share of stuff, and I have been trying for well over a year to get our endeavor off the ground and we are slowly getting there. We released our first video call not long ago and have been brainstorming about the direction that we want to take things. In addition to this I’ve been having a little trouble maintaining balance with all of my other projects too…in the midst of all this other stuff. It hasn’t been easy. There have been times when I have felt my tenuous grip on sanity slipping. About a month ago, a friend and his wife came by and he gave me a reading. The reading indicated that the next few months would be difficult…wow, that’s no joke. The good part is that the reading showed things headed in a much better direction after this rough patch and I choose to believe that the good part is also true.
Tomorrow is a super event with the solstice, new moon, solar eclipse, and the sun moving into Aries tomorrow…the universe is packing a major power punch. I am beyond ready to work with it. Over the past few days I have been reading a great deal and watched a particularly great video which Tabitha sent to me. First though, I got an update from Raven Sinclaire who is someone who I haven’t met in person yet but lives here in Asheville. She does wonderful shamanic work and just seems like a cool person, and she was talking about our deep and dark parts coming out to be healed…as well as how difficulty leads to great change. She is right and her timing is perfect. She is offering a free 3 month Shamanic healing journey which begins in May. Click on her name above to go check it out. Someday my goal is to work with her in person, but this free opportunity right now is so very appreciated!
Okay, now for the video that Tabitha sent along. It too is by someone here in Asheville who I haven’t met in person but I have seen her artwork (which I loved). Hali Karla interviewed Jamie Ridler of Jamie Ridler Studios in one of her Holistic Creative Chats, and asked what her creative practice was looking like in this season of her life. The answer that Jamie gave resonated with me so strongly that I am still vibrating! She talked about how showing up creatively every day, not having a narrow focus, and living joyfully was where she was at. What struck me so profoundly was how she discussed how she had felt pressure to pick a focus, both from others and in return from herself. Oh my do I get it! Should I focus on writing? Art? Sisters? A combination?
You feel guilty for letting something sit while you work on something else. You feel like you aren’t getting anything done. Nothing is further from the truth and I demonstrated this to myself just last week. Someone asked me what I had been doing and I was sitting here thinking, wow…I am going to sound so lame because I haven’t done anything. Then I began listing what I had been up to…and it was so far from nothing. I loved how Jamie said that she was never going to be that single purposed person. Creativity is what matters. So yes, I can be all of the things that I love. The trick is to show up with passion. I had sort of lost that, but it has been bubbling back up to the surface. Hence the title of this post…letting go, moving forward…
All of the bad, hard, ugly shit of the past few years has been necessary to progress in many ways. To realize what matters to me. To know myself better. To get to this place within myself where I do not feel like I have to pick one thing. To not feel like I owe any explanations to anyone. To be getting my happy back…even in the midst of hard times. I had lost my passion for things…but was managing to keep showing up, even if not as often as I liked. Now though, I find the music coming back into my space…the joy and excitement for my work…new ideas forming. I am feeling excited about jumping in happily and letting the ideas flow.
I have a few class ideas already in the works for Sisters and here, I have a vision with many of my WIP paintings, and I have also opened things back up for readings which you can check out here on my readings page or over at Sisters where you can work with me alone, or with me and Tabitha in tandem, and you can also learn about working with her alone too. I’ll be dusting off my writing projects. The beautiful part of all of this is that I am not making promises or timelines. When I get up tomorrow I will go where the muse takes me. That is not lacking discipline as I had previously thought…I just have to keep doing the work. Tomorrow, I will be taking the opportunity of honing in on all of this and setting intentions to get the flow opened back up…better than ever.