Finding Ourselves In Stillness

Erie 2010 035Our society encourages us to stay as busy as we can, and to put our focus on doing.  Slowing things down to reflect is discouraged. We have become so trained to drive ourselves incessantly toward some invisible marker of enough that we can’t even remember why we’re running so fast, yet we don’t dare jump off the hamster wheel for fear of what everyone might think.

Plus, there is the fact that stopping to take a look at ourselves is scary. What if we don’t like what we see? What if we have no idea who we are or what we want for ourselves? Where would we begin the process of putting all the pieces together? Are we capable of doing all that work? Is it worth it?

It is easier to distract ourselves than to answer these questions. I get it. I’ve been there. I still find myself there on some levels at times. We can lose ourselves in a million things, and even tell ourselves that we’re doing well…after all look at all the stuff we’re getting done. We throw ourselves into work, fill our days with endless activities, drink too much, fill the silence with numbing background noise, keep our hands busy at all times in order not to be idle, spend our time with people we truly don’t care about, doing things which have no meaning…all in order to avoid looking at the person that lives inside the reflection in the mirror.

Sad? You bet it is but we’ve been trained to do it, we’re encouraged to run ourselves into the ground, and let’s not forget…it is human nature. The human mind has an endless capacity for finding justifications, for making excuses, for hiding the truth from even ourselves. I believe that some of it is a deluded form of self protection…the mind attempting to keep us from facing realities which might not be pleasant to look at. You know what?

As scary as it might be, the still silent place is where we all need to be from time to time. We can only hide from ourselves for so long. Even if we never understand what hit us, life has a way of bringing it back around so that sooner or later we have no choice but to see. Experience has taught me that lesson well, and as hard as it is, I’m putting a lot of effort into going into the stillness for truth. It definitely isn’t easy, and sometimes it hurts like crazy, and sometimes I still screw up. The alternative is much worse though. More than once, I’ve found myself standing in a pile of rubble looking back with a sick feeling in my gut. I’m sure that many of you have too.

I want to encourage you to join me in the stillness. It might not be comfortable there at first, but it is where you find not only the answers…you also find your power. Don’t go there to find your faults. Go there to find that person who lives inside you that you can be proud of. Go there and see yourself as someone worthy of love…someone worthy of happiness…and to figure out what it is that you need to do to understand that truth of that…you are worthy.Rose

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6 thoughts on “Finding Ourselves In Stillness

  1. What an exquisite piece of writing, Tracy. Why don’t you live down the road from me? WHY? I want us to be bezzies!
    I find the stillness difficult and it is easier to fill, fill, fill but that doesn’t stop the anxiety. Finding yourself within is the key to happiness and we have to remember to afford ourselves that time as growth only comes from understanding oneself. 🙂

    • Aww thanks Jules. One of these days…somehow…we’re going to have to hang out. I can only imagine the mayhem, and I mean this in a rubbing the hands together grinning kinda way. I’m sure we’d be bezzies in no time.

      Yes, it is difficult which is what prompted me to write this. I realized a few days ago, when I wasn’t surrounding myself with background noise, that I had been drowning out the silence for a little while. Inner turmoil baby…it’ll get you every time.

      Yes, so true my friend…without understanding oneself, everything just sort of stops. 🙂

  2. At least with my not working for the past 3+ years, I find myself in silence quite a bit. I used to be a music-aholic but now I prefer to keep my house quiet all day. My fave thing is to go to the beach and just walk and look for glass, shells and stones. I get into this zen zone and hours slip by.

    • JoJo, it makes a difference when we get used to spending quiet time with ourselves. I know that I feel a lot calmer too when I allow myself to just be quiet and still. Walking along the beach for hours was a favorite for me when I lived near the ocean, so I get that.

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