Finding Peace Redefined

Until recently I’ve found myself bucking against acceptance. Accepting people, situations, and even myself as they are was something which I had come to believe was akin to resigning myself. As time goes by, I find my definitions changing. Accepting things as they are doesn’t mean that I like it…it doesn’t mean that I approve of it…hell, it sure doesn’t mean that I am settling for it. It’s more a matter of saying that this is how this person, situation, or the way that I am is right now and that’s alright. I can be at peace even while I realize that something has got to change.

By something, I mean myself really. I accomplish nothing by bucking against…by sinking into misery…wallowing in anger. Okay, I will say this much. Yes, for a little while it feels good to vent, be pissed off, and even to cry over people and situations. There are some who aspire to be and maybe even have made it to that place of perfect peace and happiness even while still being alive in their human skin. That’s all well and good for them, and honestly I am happy for them.

However, for me…the emotions…positive and not so much…are part of my experience. I do not hold onto the not so positive ones for long and I never have, because I am well aware that life is too short to hold onto ugly. I will defend myself, but to stay angry only hurts me. It serves no purpose. So, right now…at this moment in my life…the definition of peace is this…

To feel what I need to feel for a while and then shrug my shoulders and accept that this is just the way that things are at this moment in time…and then to find a way to change it for myself. That might mean distancing myself from someone or even saying goodbye…it might mean that I have to walk away from involvement in something because my continued work at it isn’t serving any positive need or purpose…it might mean that I have to look at myself in the mirror and admit that something about the way that I am going about my life isn’t right and so something about it.

Have you found that your definitions of things have changed over the years?

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9 thoughts on “Finding Peace Redefined

  1. I’ve been doing the same thing as you….trying to reduce conflict by backing away or cutting people loose. I had to unfriend and block 2 people on FB because I will not be treated like that or talked to that way. As bad as I really wanted to go off and just rant what effing a-holes they are, I just said, ‘I wish you well’ and blocked them.

    • Hi JoJo~ Yeah it can be really difficult not to tell them just what you think sometimes. Not sure about you, but sometimes the only thing that stops me is the thought that I would be behaving no better than they were.

      • That’s exactly it…..as much as I would love to type out my tirade, I back off and let it go. If I took anything away from To Kill a Mockingbird, it was Atticus’ advice to Scout to ‘climb into a person’s skin and consider things from their point of view’. These people who have been so nasty to me are already depressed, angry people and obviously jealous that I’m happy, so they have to try and get their digs and snarky comments in. The last thing I want to do is tell them something that might make them commit suicide or something you know? Esp. this one person who has said she’s considered it. I would feel horrible if I said, ‘you have no friends b/c you are an effing bitch, no wonder no one likes you all you do is piss and moan about EVERYTHING’ and then she kills herself…..

      • To Kill A Mockingbird is one of the best books I’ve ever read. I know what you mean…you definitely never want to be responsible for making someone who is already miserable even more unhappy.

  2. What a thoughtful post this, Tracy. I agree sometimes it does not require a fight, all it requires, possibly, is walking away from it for a while and then figuring out what is best for us. I agree completely.

    • Thanks Kajal! It can be difficult sometimes not to react in anger and while it might make us feel better for a few seconds, it doesn’t solve anything. I still have work to do here, but I’m sure trying.

  3. Wow, what growth that we can all learn from. Goose bumps deluxe (good sign) that you are right on with your thinking and the place you are at on your path. Kinda funny is how I came from a path of “never” speaking of the offenses that others may have done towards me… and now finding “my voice” to hopefully find myself somewhere in the middle that doesn’t offend others and yet feels like I have not sold myself out in the name of peace

  4. The portal of energy and enlightenment has opened up and is shing brightly on you… girl this post rocks light years.

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