My mind has been itching to write for several days now. Its been much more a lack of time than of desire. Out of state relatives are visiting and I’ve had other things going on as well, so there really hasn’t been a lot of down time. Last night I couldn’t even manage to watch more than one episode of ‘Gavin and Stacey’ which is only a 30 minute show on Netflix before I remembered that I had to start reading a book for a book club I’ve joined. I didn’t get far in it, but it’s better than the zero pages I had read so far. I’m thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have signed up for the book club because I don’t seem to have enough time as it is. Not only that but I’ve committed to leading a tai chi class weekly, so yes I’m feeling a tad overloaded.
The writer and artist in me are pouting a bit…my muse is nagging more than a bit…the voices driving me mad to the degree that I am feeling tempted to stay in my pajamas all day, hiding out in an insulated bubble of journals and sketch pads. Not only that, but I am also feeling withdrawal from walking. I haven’t had a decent one since Thursday due to several days of pouring rain.
The past week has made it abundantly clear that I am going to have to insist on making/taking the time for certain things. For some reason I thought that it was going to be easier to stick with the daily habit of writing after the two challenges I was participating in ended on the last day of April. Instead of berating myself for the lack of discipline or worse yet, falling into the trap of analyzing myself in an attempt to figure out why…I’m just shoring my resolve.
I had someone ask me just yesterday if I was feeling guilt about not writing and after careful deliberation I’m pleased to say that no…it isn’t guilt that I’m feeling. It’s a feeling of emptiness, a blank space which can only be filled by writing. How’s that for an aha moment?
The relatives will be heading home on Thursday morning so I will be able to get into a groove again very soon. I’m also going to turn comment moderation back on here. Why? Because it makes it easier for me to remember to reply in a timely fashion. I certainly do not want for anyone’s comments to get lost in the shuffle and I am well aware that this is just what’s happening. I want to sincerely thank all of you for your patience and understanding while I’m getting myself together!