Hello everyone! Thanks go out to all of you who have hung in there with me through all of the transitions in my life recently. Posting has been minimal for a few months now, and I haven’t been keeping up with the wonderful comments which so many of you have been leaving, even though I have read all of them and appreciate the sharing and support. Now that things are finally getting settled it is my sincere goal to be around here a lot more.
I also want to wish all of you a wonderful Samhain and tell you that it is my hope for all of us that the upcoming months will see a lot of personal and spiritual growth. This day of the year has taken on a great deal of significance for me over the past several years, and this year feels extra special. Why? Because I am finally where I need to be, and that is so important.
Yes, a lot of people say that we can be happy no matter where we are. While there is some truth to that, I know from personal experience that we need to be in an environment which is conducive to who we really are in order to fully thrive. In addition, we need to have people in our lives who accept and love us for who we really are…and not only what we can do for them or because we are living our lives in a way that meets their stamp of approval. No, I am not talking about being able to use and abuse others here. Just simply being free to walk our own paths in a way that isn’t causing harm in any way. We really can be ourselves and love others fully. It doesn’t have to be one or the other…it shouldn’t be that way at all. If we are given that choice of one or the other, it isn’t that there is something wrong with us. It means that the love that we have for those people is not reciprocated in a genuine way and that maybe it’s time to let go.
We need to take care of ourselves and tend to our needs on every level…to pay attention to that little voice which tells us to slow down and listen to the whispers of our soul. This is something which I’ve only done in fits and starts, and have put on hold for years at a time. Why? For many years I was surrounded by chaos which I allowed to swallow me, I allowed others to make me feel guilty for needing to walk my own path, and somewhere along the way…a long time ago…the belief that I should be taking care of anyone and anything other than myself made it’s way into my being. The small whispers of truth were still in there, telling me to go ahead and do what I needed to do. However, those whispers were not often heeded for very long.
I’ve known for quite some time that those whispers were telling the truth and that more than anything I needed to remove myself from old patterns, energy, and expectations so that I might be able to truly offer something to others. There is a big difference between being loving and compassionate…and being dragged down in order to do the bidding of others or to have their approval at the cost of losing ourselves. Am I bitter about any of it? No, because it has made me strong and has shown me that in order to experience and spread love out there…we have to find it within. More than anything, I now know what love really is. It is about acceptance and freedom. It is about loving ourselves enough to find the best inside of ourselves and to know that we deserve as much respect as anyone else.
Also, locations do matter to some degree. Places have an energy of their own, and some of them are not at all positive. We can create a safe haven in our homes in this type of place, but it takes a lot of energy and work on our part to maintain that…to not allow the vibrations of that negative energy to permeate our beings. For the past several years I have been doing that work of expending most of my energy keeping the negativity at bay, while keeping that spark which illuminates my path alive.
So, my focus now is to wind down from defense mode and let that spark turn into a mighty flame. It’s a great feeling to be able to do this at this point in my life and I am looking forward to sharing so much with all of you as it comes to me. It’s going to take a little time, because having this freedom…while being what I’ve needed for so long…is foreign territory for me and therefore I find myself feeling a bit lost, but in a good way. This is truly a new beginning for me and I intend to make the most of it.
Yes, this post might seem on the surface as though it been all about me. It’s purpose though was not just to talk about myself. It is about finding the strength and courage to find our way in life. If some of you find yourselves relating just a little too much to what I described in my own life experience, I want to encourage you to find love in your heart for yourself. Find a way to tend to your soul…your truth. Do not spend your time in feeling guilty for anything…not guilty for not doing something about it sooner…and not guilty for needing to be the real you. Let’s make the most of the time which lies ahead of us. It’s never too late. To create the most good for the whole, we have to cultivate the love and wisdom within ourselves first. Are you ready to love yourself?
As a side note, but a very important one…my thoughts go out to all who were impacted by hurricane Sandy. I do hope that you and yours are safe.